Sunday, September 28, 2003
I have STOPPED updating this site in favor of another; all the content has been moved there at Made-of-rain.net
. Go there. Thanks.
I have STOPPED updating this site in favor of another; all the content has been moved there at Made-of-rain.net.
Go there. Thanks.
Tuesday, June 24, 2003
Just imagine some little fangs on that floating pink guy. Got it? Hehehehehehe that's me... *evil look*. Rini sent me something that really cheered me up. And made me feel evil again hahahahaa just like the old days. Not "evil" but... ... the benign hobby form of evil... you know...
Oh but I'm in a bad mood cause of Deeper Blue. It's giving me trouble. Jeesh. Hehehehe. .... hehehehehe.... heheh....
Monday, June 23, 2003
1 MINUTE AGO: I typed some html
1 DAY AGO: I was running system diagnostic on my computer.. .. oh so glamorous
1 WEEK AGO: Don't remember.. I have the short-term memory of a snail...
1 YEAR AGO: Probably some inane family outing
I HURT: Right now
I LOVE: The absence of pain
I HATE: migraines
I FEAR: the dark
I HOPE: for new glasses
I FEEL: headachey
I LISTEN: too much
I HIDE: for attention?
I DRIVE: haha yeah right over my dead body... err... not that I plan on driving over my dead body...
I PLAY: piano, guitar, recorder, digital music (none of those very well, some of those very minimally)
I MISS: childhood
I LEARNED: aspirin could be giving me my stomach aches
I KNOW: stuff
I WAIT: patiently. Very patiently. In fact, I'm a freak.
I NEED: a huuuuuug?
I THINK: a lot?
Current Clothes: Jeans. Black shirt. Black duster with faux fur cuffs... I wear it like a housecoat.
Current Mood: Sick/Tired/Aching.....
Current Taste: rootbeer
Current Hair: down, messy, doing whatever it wants
Current Annoyance: My head hurts
Current Smell: *sniff sniff*... is something burning?
Current thing I should be Doing: Sleeeeeeping away my headache
Current Desktop Picture: Wallpaper from Here
Current Favorite Band: ummm... The Seatbelts
Current Book: Isaac Asimov: The Complete Robot
Current Movie In VCR: *goes to look*.... *laughs* D2 the Mighty Ducks
Current Refreshment: Rootbeer
Current Worry: Headache won't go away and I'll have to sleep. I hate sleeping.
[Four beverages you drink frequently]
4. Sobe juice
[Four TV shows you liked when you were a little kid]
1. Peewee's Playhouse!
2. David the Gnome
3. Eureka's Castle
4. Muppet Babies
[Three places to go in your area]
1. Fred Meyer
2. The mall
3. Mt. Scott
[Four things to do when you're bored]
1. Blog ^_~
2. Play Zelda (Oracle of Seasons hehe)
3. Look around aimlessly online
4. Work on made-of-rain.net *sheepish*
[Four things that never fail to cheer you up]
1. Television shows (comedy... like the Simpsons, Just Shoot Me, etc)
2. hm... never fail?
3. .... everything else is conditional
4. ...... yep
[Four things you can't live without]
2. My computer + the Internet
4. Books/Paper/Writing utensils.... physical geeky stuff to play with
[About ten years ago *list three things*]
1. I got my first pair of glasses
2. I was going to Marysville Elementary
3. I was inexplicably more popular than anyone would think
[About four years ago *list three things*]
1. I was in 8th grade
2. I was alone
3. I wished I were dead
[About one year ago *list three things*]
1. I decided I hated everyone
2. I took quite a few steps backward
3. I was depressed out of my mind
1. I woke up at 1pm
2. I started to download Anger Management and LoTR2
3. I got a major migraine
[Seven things you love]
1. My friends... and the obligatory: family
3. Video games
4. The internet
[Seven things you dislike]
1. Annoying noises
2. Things that are dirty
4. Throwing up
5. People yelling at me
6. Superiority complexes
7. Inferiority complexes
[Seven facts about you]
1. I have poor vision
2. I love cats
3. I try hard to be perfect
4. I know I'm not
5. I hate phones/talking on the phone
6. I'm a sucker for disney cartoon movies
7. I'm horribly empathetic
Nicknames: ....Zan?..Bastet?.. Rosie?.... hardly anyone uses nicknames for me ^^;;
Birth date: October 8th
Birthplace: Seattle, Washington
Current Location: In my chair. At my desk. In my home. In Portland, Or.
Eye Color: Blue (though they change sort of... I guess they hover between gray, blue and green)
Hair Color: Dark Brown (dyed reddish with blond streaks)
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Libra
Your heritage: Prussian+German, Norwegian/Swedish, French, + good ole' American
The shoes you wore today: No shoes!
Your hair: Long... curly... tangly
Your weakness: Laughter
Your fears: Small spaces, Imperfection, Dissapointing others, trying my best and having that not be enough
Your perfect pizza: Pepperoni and cheese
One thing you'd like to achieve: Mastery of something
One talent you wish you had: Drawing well.
Your most overused phrase: Meep. Eep. Kwa? Whatevah, Losah. LOL I don't know... oh oh maybe it's LOL.
Your thoughts first waking up: What? Where am I?
The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: Ummm.... eyes?
Your best physical feature: I have small hands. Like a carney! .... what was the question?
Your bedtime: Whenever I want, losah! haha
Your greatest accomplishment: Good grades.... in the face of adversity!!!.... ?heehee
Pepsi or coke: Coke
McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's
Adidas or Nike: uh... does that matter?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Neither
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or coffee: Neither eww
Cuss: only when I'm very very angry... and then I do it silently or so no one can hear me... cause it's not a good thing to do.
Do drugs?: If I had some.... ^_~
Have sex: no
Sleep with stuffed animals? ....No.
Have a dream that keeps coming back? Yes
Believe there is life on other planets? *IS* life, *could be* life or *was* life? I believe in each one of those in varying degrees... none of them as high a degree as I'd like to, romantically (please, that word has more than one meaning)
Read the newspaper? no not unless I have nothing better to do
Like the taste of alcohol? Nooooo it's gross *blech*
Believe in God? yes
Go to church? ... not as of late...
Have any secrets? Naturally
Have any pets? Four cats, Two dogs, One parrot, One Iguana, Two fishies, and one Ferret.
Talk to strangers who instant message you? Never
Wear hats? If I go hiking or where there's sun. I burn. I buuuuurrrrrrrn. *hiss*
Hate yourself? .... Define "hate"....
Have an obsession? Well according to the test I just took I have a drug obsession hehe. . . IRL I probably have internet and soda obsessions among others.
Have a secret crush? Not really sure anymore.
Collect anything? I'm a horrible pack-rat collector.
Have a best friend? Yes. Several.
Like your handwriting? Sure, it's uh... misleadingly messy? hehe..
Care about looks? usually
Boy/girlfriend's looks? To me people look like their personalities... so it takes me a while to "see" them... so that I'd recognize them... except for movie/tv stars... except there you invent their personalities :D.... does that explain it?
Friends and other people? no
Believe in witches? yes
Believe in Satan? yes
Believe in ghosts? sometimes
Sing well: Never in front of anyone else
Take a shower everyday: hahahahahahahahaha *tear*..... yeah right
Want to go to college: Yes... actually for a long time I never knew there was an alternative... there still really isn't one.
Want to get married: Maybe
Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: Yes. How could they be on the wrong... oh except when I shift; you're supposed to shift with the pinkie opposite the letter you are trying to capitalize, but I just use whichever one is most .... ... I don't know I just shift lol.
Believe in yourself: not when there's other people present
Get motion sickness: No... but lately I have been a little... Because of the glare from the clouds. I guess I get light sickness (too much sunlight makes me ill... lol go figure)
Think you're a health freak: No but I'm a bit of a hypochondriac... on purpose...
Get along with your parents: Almost always
Like thunderstorms: Yes. There aren't enough of them
Play an instrument: piano, recorder, guitar, digital music, how many times must I tell you? Oh and i would have been good at drums, too.
Have a bad temper?: Yes . . . and I black out a bit when I do. . . . (sorry)
Gesture with your hands a lot while speaking?: If I'm trying to explain something I might
Walk slow or fast?: Usually the opposite of everyone else around me hehe
Walk with your head down, looking forward or held high?: Down; I don't want to trip or step in something icky
Look people in the eye when speaking to them?: I try to... but it's HARD for me
Talk to yourself when no one is around?: More than I'd like to admit
Sing along with music even when people are in the room?: If I sing purposely bad...
Look at yourself in the mirror a lot? And if so, do you give yourself pep-talks or insult yourself?: mm depends... a lot of times I'll see my reflection and not realize it's me until it mirrors my movements (not in my bathroom, idiot, like in store windows or places like that)
Fantasize often?: Yeah I don't think it's healthy; it's part of an avoidant personality
Fidget?: No. Never. I'm a statue.
Pick your nose?: Ewwww
Get in fights often?: Yeaaah... with siblings/parents...
Play any sports?: Drama?
Like rollercoasters?: Absolutely!
Plan on going to college? : Is there another alternative?
You want to travel WHERE? : Egypt
Like accents?: Yes... particularly Scottish or British/Australian accents...
IN THE PAST MONTH, DID/ HAVE YOU...
Drank alcohol: no
Done a drug: do you count over-the-counter pain killers?
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: I haven't eaten ONE oreo...
Been on stage: Yep yep!
Gone skating: noooo...
Made homemade cookies: thought about it... wait, is there another kind of cookie I could have made?
Gone skinny dipping: No and I don't plan on doing it ... ever
Dyed your hair: Nope
Stolen anything: Mmmm I might have
Drugs taken illegally: 0
People I could trust with my life: 8-ish?
CDs that I own: Too many! Do you count downloads? ^^;;
Piercings: 2 (but I'm going to get 2 more...)
What are they: Ears (the two more will also be the ears)
Times my name has appeared in the newspaper: How should I know?
Scars on my body: 5-10... something like that
Things in my past that I regret: Regret is my middle name!... .... ok... you got me... it's not.
LAST TIME YOU...
Had a nightmare: Last night... err... this morning.
Brushed your hair: This afternoon
Washed your hair: Day or two ago
Checked your e-mail: few hours ago
Cried: Few days ago
Called someone: Long time ago
Smiled: there. Just did.
Laughed: Few minutes ago
Listened to your fave cd: Dunno...
SILLY GENERIC QUESTIONS...
Favorite Movie: Die Hard 3! and Ice Age! and any other Disney cartoon movies!
Favorite Book: The Stand?... no... Time Windows? no... grr... don't know!
Favorite Author: Isaac Asimov!!! Anne McCaffrey, Stephen King, Tony Hillerman, Christian Jacq
Favorite Band: The Seatbelts
Favorite Store: Thrift store
What the hell do you plan on naming your children?: Something spur of the moment... ? I think I'd rather adopt anyway
Favorite Celebrity: hmm... Bruce Willis? Jeremy Irons? I don't know!
You Touched: My brother's friend (I pushed him on the trampoline hehehe)
You Talked to: My mom
You Hugged: .. ... .... .... I haven't hugged anyone in a very long time.. ... my cat?
You Instant messaged: Vertigo
You Yelled At: My brother
You Had A Crush On: I don't remember
Who broke Your Heart: In what way? *faint smile* No one in the way I think this question means.
You Kissed: .. ... .... my cat?
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
Kill: only when I'm angry
Slap: only when I'm angry
Tickle: umm... RINI!!!!
Talk To: Someone I don't dislike ;)
Have Sex with: That's a scary thought
Kiss: My kitty...
Be Like: My uber-perfect friends
HABITS, HABITS, HABITS...
Bad habits?: Yes. . . . did you want me to elaborate?
Sleeping habits: Sporadic
What position do you find most comfortable?: laying on one side... with my hand under my head... curled up
Do you sleep well?: Sometimes
On average, how many hours do you sleep a night?: It varies
Are you a sound sleeper?: When I do, yes
What do you wear?: .... when I sleep?... or in general?... when I sleep I wear my clothes lol
How many pillows do you use?: One.
Do you share your bed with any stuffed animals?: Absolutely NOT
What brand of shampoo do you use?: No idea
What brand of conditioner do you use?: Kirkland cheapie?
What brand of soap do you use?: Ivory... something white?
What kind of toothbrush do you use?: An electric one I got for christmas, used for a month or so, switched to another brush but then I lost it... so now I'm using the electric brush.
How often do you shower/bathe?: Whenever I feel dirty... heeheehee... that's a funny thing to say....
How many times a day do you brush your teeth?: At least once and usually twice unless I forget
THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
What is/are your favorite:
TV show?: Anything that will make me laugh. Seriously.
Artist/band?: Mai Yamane... ok actually too many to list. I like lots of music.
Song?: Way too many to list.
Album?: ... Eve 6 or Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack
Radio station?: 97.1, 107.5, KBOO... ... things that are familiar and comfortable
Food?: Anything junkie
Candy?: Anything that's not coffee flavored or gross looking
Day of the week?: Friday
Time of day?: Right before dawn
Sight?: .... Let's just say Rain for the sake of simplicity
Past time?: Sleeping
Color?: Blue/Black/Silver something "cool"
Article of clothing?: My black clothes
Perfume/cologne?: Curve/Mambo? (because I know no others ? lol)
RANDOM ODDS AND ENDS
If you could look like anyone famous, who would it be and why?: Anyone pretty in that "dark" way... because it'd be nice to be pretty? lol
If you could have your way with anyone famous, who would it be and why?: Wouldn't it be very shallow to have an answer to this question? I only know famous people based on their looks or characters they've played in movies.. ..
If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be?: I wouldn't weigh so much v.v;;; or I'd be taller
If you could change one thing about yourself (not physically), what would it be?: I wouldn't be such a damn perfectionist
If you had three wishes what would they be?: Immense talent in many areas, telepathic powers, and good luck
If you had the option would you rather be able to fly or be invisible? Invisible (wait, I already am!... ... figuratively losah! lol)
Is the glass half empty or half full?: Depends on the liquid
What makes you laugh most?: Stupidity? heeheehee but only when it's funny. Not when it's annoying or sad...
How do you take out your anger?: Repression... or those blackouts I talked about....
If you wanted to learn any language what would it be?: Gaelic, Japanese, or Mandarin
Are you rebel or do you follow the rules?: Depends on who's watching
Have you ever backstabbed anyone?: *sighs* Probably
Have you ever been backstabbed?: Probably
What's something that most people don't know about you?: I have a crystal aura (think about the implications of that)
One CD that you own that you're embarrassed of?: Though I'll defend it like mad; Blackhawk
If you could see ANYONE in concert (dead or alive): .... You know I've only seen Weird Al in concert. That was good. But Cd's are still better
Are you neat and organized or sloppy and disorganized?: Despite my immense efforts to be organized, I am incredibly messy
Are you shallow?: I'd like to think that I'm not
Are you sensitive?: Horribly... ;_;.... don't talk to me!
What are you terribly afraid of?: Trying my best and failing
Are you shy or outgoing?: Depends on whether I'm feeling manipulative or not... ^_~
What's something you're insecure about?: What's something I'm SECURE about?
Where would you like to be in ten years?: Wiser
What color is your underwear?: Right now? Blue
Have you ever been stalked?: Maybe... I might have imagined it
Have you ever been a stalker?: Hehe if I did it was only a joke *laughs* (that is SUCH a stalker thing to say, isn't it?!)
Did the questions in this survey suck?: Suck what!?
Ok, I got that from Rini's LJ. It was mildly amusing and in the process of doing it I shook my headache... but it took me well over an hour to do. WELL over an hour I think. . . . hehehe.... . . .
you are the TORTOISE OF DEATH. that cute little
wooden tortoise that just didnt look evil
enough...Dont let anyone look you directly in
the eyes...they might die. Which of my psycho hybrid toys are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Somewhere inside you lies true evil. Darkness
radiates through you like water flows through
the great lakes. Choose wisely in all your life
decisions , we all have means to change our
path. a... DO YOU PERSONIFY DARKNESS OR LIGHT? brought to you by Quizilla
You're so Chibi, it's scary. Are you 5'3? Do you
wear glasses too? I'm scared. I have a twin.
o.o; How Chibi Are You? brought to you by Quizilla
Everyone dislikes something about a country. Your
opinion of Japan is pretty high. It's probably
a place you want to visit or even revisit, but
you didn't have fun all the time. You couldn't
get enough of those rotating sushi bars or
pachinko parlors though. It's more of an
amusing country to you than your dream vacation
spot. Would you survive in Japan? brought to you by Quizilla
You are Pokemon! Which cartoon are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Wow, you're a Squall. I don't think I've ever met a
Squall before. You may seem quiet and boring
but you really have a tortured soul. You'd be a
great character in those heartbreaking romance
novels. Too bad you'd probably die in the end. Which of the Final Fantasy 8 characters are you most like? brought to you by Quizilla
BrujahWhat Camarilla Vampire are you? brought to you by Quizilla
You're A Villian!
You evil person, you. You have a dark side to you.
Your destiny is world destruction/domination.
Just so long as those pesky heros stay out of
your way. What Type Of Anime Character Are You? brought to you by Quizilla
Magic Mojo: 9
Congratulations, you are Arwen, a true romantic at
heart. There is more to you than meets the eye.
You would do anything for your true love, even
give up your immortality.
You are known for being Graceful, Elegant, and
faithful. Which 'Lord of the Rings' Noblewoman are you? brought to you by Quizilla
You are Beauty.
You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the
outside, or both. People are drawn to you as
strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the
world around you. What Emotion Are You? brought to you by Quizilla
Drug Obsession What's Your Obsession? brought to you by Quizilla
Sunday, June 22, 2003
Mood: .... Stricken?
*laughs* no matter what you think, it's not what you think... at least if you're online and reading this ^_~ LOL what is that supposed to mean? ... well ... it has more to do with where I went yesterday than anything else... so don't go jumping to conclusions.
Anyway now that I'm done with my daily dose of ambiguity . . . I'm working hard on my section but I can't seem to make a whole lot of headway. It's annoying. >< . . . I found out some things about Yahoo Skins today... made 2 skins... got all 5-6 layouts up for my site (I can't count, so sue me)... wrote one tutorial... did a bunch of system diagnostics to my lazy-crazy computer... and I'm tired . . .
Yesterday I didn't get into bed until 4:30-4:45 something like that. And I couldn't sleep because I kept hearing this noise. Turns out it was some stupid birds outside chirping already. Jeesh. Plus I couldn't sleep because my stomach hurt... plus I couldn't sleep just because I couldn't sleep. But uh. Yeaaaah..... <<..... >>...... *sigh*...... . . . wish someone would come online to chat with me . . . . v.v. . . . I'm going to go walk around for a while. . . .
Saturday, June 21, 2003
Heeheehee lookie! Isn't this neat?.... I'll have to do two, as I did this for my LJ (which I never use) name... ... the second one will be for THIS blog's name.
|Personality||Procrastinator (If The Apathy Doesn't Kill Me)|
|Sexual||Just Say No|
|Likely To Win||A Home Help Badge|
|Me - In A Word||Genius|
|Brought to you by MemeJack|
|Personality||The Glass Is Half-Full!|
|Temperament||Cool And Calm|
|Likely To Win||The World Cup|
|Me - In A Word||Devious|
|Brought to you by MemeJack|
heeheeheehee..... Oh but I'm annoyed because I have to leave in a little while to go to a Drama Club fundraiser... uh huh. . . . yep. . . . . =_=;;
Thursday, June 19, 2003
Gr. I'm very annoyed now. For one I spent all night on the computer doing NOTHING just looking through old conversations and ... something else, and coming away with a very very BAD BAD feeling. A BAD feeling. I feel bad. *sighs*. Ick. Not sad. ... Not really angry... maybe a little. .. but ... disappointed? Disgusted? Annoyed? .... I don't know!.... .... What is it?? ... I can't really tell. But it's not a good feeling, I'll give you that. I read something that put me in this funk. . . duuuuude that is sooo not cool. *crosses arms*. I feeeeel... I feeel liiiiiiike.... I dunno... ... a waste? . . . Regret!? . . . Regret. . . maybe that's it. Guilt. But I didn't do anything. And I think that's what's bugging me.
Wednesday, June 18, 2003
Ummm.... I dunno what to say... but I haven't written in a while, or so it seems... these summer days aren't going by very fast... especially now that I'm not allowed on the computer till 6pm (and I don't take that rule very seriously, but I *have* been following it... dunno why... out of respect??... hm) and I'm waiting till Friday to get SAT scores (when I will be suitably disappointed), and I'm waiting till Saturday when I will be plenty .... well.... I don't know exactly what will happen, but I think it will be bad... and next week... maybe even Saturday, too, when I get my report card and collapse into a coma of disbelief and depression... so naturally I'm anxious. My stomach has been hurting for a while. My actual stomach. Up high. . . . it was so bad a few nights ago I couldn't sleep. . . It worried me. . . it really wouldn't be surprising if I developed an ulcer, so uh, that's not completely out of the question. *sighs* *bites lip* I just don't really understand why it would develop NOW rather than back during school .... I don't make sense *sticks tongue out* blech. . . but I HAVE been sleeping pretty well... ... .... just takes me a while to fall asleep. Although there are nightmares. . . .although. . . this morning after a nightmare I went back to sleep... with the intention of seeing what happened next.... hm. I finished Asimov's Caves of Steel. It was pretty good. I enjoy how Earth is the least powerful... power in the Galaxy. It's kinda cute ;). It's also cute seeing all the things that he predicted would be in the future, and how they were really just extensions of old 60's technology that has long since died out (like film viewers? you know in libraries?) and kids' slang like "Keen".... but also there were things that still hold true today... ... and you know he predicted that dying ones hair funky colors would be "in."
You know, I really like designing Sims houses.. I don't care for playing the game... I think I used to (.... *thinks*.... I'm going to have to show all the pictures from when I went into a Sims killing spree hehe... ) but I do enjoy building and decorating and furnishing the houses. That's fun. I haven't played the game since... .... *thinks*.... last October maybe???.... my dad was going to download me the next expansion pack but it hasn't come up yet... Oooo that reminds me; Comcast took over our internet and the word on the street is that they are going to be limiting Newsgroups downloads to 1 GB... a MONTH!!.... a *month*?!? That's just over 1 CD! My dad downloads that much in a couple hours!!! Uck! And you know if that happens, he's going to cancel internet because it won't be worth it to him anymore. ;_; wah.
I have just a few more tweaks to make on MoonCat... I accidentally wrote over the index and main pages, so I had to redo those late last night (around 2 lol)... and then I have to work on... .... my section.... ick.... I don't feel like doing that... for some reason this ... CHAIR doesn't make me want to work! It's .... a .... stupid stupid chair!!! .... *glares at the chair* stupid chair.... *sighs*.... .... *raises it up now that she's thinking about it* I spent about two hours cleaning my room this morning. Guess how much I got done. . . *waits*... ... ... no... ... ... nope. . . . . not even close. . . I cleaned all the books and papers and hair ties (well and misc. garbage) off my bed, got the mattress back up ONTO my bed .... (don't ask) and picked up a bunch of trash and dirty clothes... .... an outsider wouldn't even notice that I'd done anything though lol. I don't think KRISTINE noticed I did anything LOL. Well, I'm pretty sure she noticed there's not a huge black mattress on the floor lol (again, don't ask). *note: Kristine and I share a very small room* .
Anyhooo... ... dum dee dum dum.... ...I should check my email... but ... I'm lazy... .... *makes face*.... .... :D bye
Sunday, June 15, 2003
Mood: Ok, but don't feel like picking a kao-ani
I'm working on Mooncat. Just thought I'd say "HI" real fast. :D. . . . ^_^ "Bye"
Saturday, June 14, 2003
Ok, You know what? I've been going through my entries and reading them. Jeesh, I sound bipolar... it doesn't really even sound like me sometimes... anyway, what I found myself thinking was "WHY do I keep doing that to myself?" ... subjecting myself to the SAME thing day after day after day, forgetting about whatever happened the day before or a week before... does that make me a good friend; that I forget about these kinds of things? Does that make me stupid? Or just insane? Seriously, I need some help here, because apparently I'm not getting the message on my own *taps her thick thick skull*
Ok. Well I had a really good day. We went out to Value Village this morning where I bought some boots and a kimono style dress (but I think it'd work better as a shirt, as it is extremely short, ahem) that's black. Both were black. The boots were half-off yay!... Anyway, then we went to Baskin Robbins and got icecream. . . got into some interesting conversations there *ahem ahem cough cough*.... and went back to my house... we played around with the pets for a while, then went out side and jumped on the trampoline for an hour or so... .... maybe a little longer .... and then had burgers... .... then Konran and Silven had to go... but Chishio stayed till 8 or 8:30 or something... we played video games lol. Amplitude (my game I have... had? an obsession with) and Tekken 4 (ohhhh yeah) although I wanted to play Bust a Groove 2... but I couldn't find it... and I couldn't get Bust a Groove 1 to work in the PS2. And I wanted to play Grand Theft Auto, but my brother was up (ahh, nuts) and that was fun.
. . But anyway. in completely unrelated news . . I really don't know why some people have to be downers all the time. And, you know, maybe I'm tired of lying, and I try to be honest, and that's not good enough. I try to be nice again, and THAT'S not good enough. Maybe I'm turning into my parents ("Suck it up!") but they don't actually suck it up like they say... (remember, ahem... the anger report?... I heard some people read that.... <<.... ) *SIGHS* Jeesh. Somebody might as well KILL ME now as nothing I do is ever good enough for anyone anyway. And Konran ran offline before I could give her the blinkie I made for her... --_-- what's the big idea, there, anyway?
Oh yeah, yesterday I went to the Drama club meeting, and got lost. It was sad... but I still made it there on time, strangely, because I'd planned on getting there early... And it was at this nice little place that had really expensive food and I wasn't hungry, and I'd actually been kinda sick (the nausea I mentioned in the previous post) and didn't want anything, but I couldn't NOT order anything, so decided to order a drink. I ruled out milk, because I hate it, and coke because it was 10:00 and it would have been a little strange to have coke... so I decided to get orange juice. It was 3 bucks! and it was small. And it wasn't very good. It was fresh and had pulp or whatever, but I'm conditioned to processed slop; anything else just doesn't cut it ;). Then I came home and later went to Chishio's graduation. . . which wasn't as long and boring as I'd expected but I didn't get home till 10:45... oh yeah, and on the MAX this guy got his bike stuck on the little bike rack and the guy and another guy were cussing and swearing at eachother, cause it was their stop and they couldn't get it off, and the one guy was like "Dude, that's my bike and if you bend the spokes I'm gonna kill you" but imagine the F word and... other choice words every other word, right? and the other guy says "No dude, you gotta turn it like this and go *jerks bike*" and finally they got it off, but in the midst of this a cell phone nearby goes off playing "This Old Man" .... *laughs* the juxtaposition was just great ;).....
.... *glares* I should try to shake this off... but it's nasty to have stuff forced on you day after day just stripping you of your good mood (and good moods don't come cheap for me) and they seem to just be STIRRING UP TROUBLE and misery! It's terrible.... My stomach hurts...
One of my major pet peeves is when people compete trying to see who is worse off/more sick/more tired/more troubled/more hurt. It BUGS me. It gives both participants the air of falsity. Thought I'd share that.
.... *SIGH* can't wait for the site to open... not that I'm done with it... oops, did I say site? I meant secret project... heeheehee....
Oh, I forgot, and I made a present for Chishio yesterday, too... *scowls* Just like me to forget. Anyhoo g'night.... *sighs* somebody gimme a hug?
Friday, June 13, 2003
heeheeheehee I had so much fun tonight :D I didn't really want to go, cause I wasn't feeling too good (I woke up this morning at 6 and I thought I was going to throw up in bed... but somehow I convinced myself to go back to sleep instead)... but we went bowling. I've bowled once before, lol, sometime in middle school. I sucked LOL. But I improved over the night so that I rivaled the others :P lol yeah right... I found this one green ball I liked that had this little chunk taken out by the finger, and for a while that was good luck, but by the third game my arm and wrist were tired of that ball (it was a 10 lb ball) so I switched back to a red one like the other girls (8 lb) and did ... ok... lol. I want to go back; it was really cheap... but only on Thursdays... can you keep a secret? good. Don't tell anyone about that ;). mmmmmmmm i'm eating cotton candy :) um um um then we came back to my house and we jumped on the trampoline (though if my dad was here, and my mom was up, we probably wouldn't have been allowed to heehee... but I'm the responsible one, right!? I spotted them!.... heehee) but we only jumped for a few minutes... 5-10 something. And then we sat down and talked for 20-30 minutes. Then they had to go cause it was already 11:30. . . . Then I went back out and jumped. MY BACK DIDN'T HURT! I was so relieved! *pheww* and it was sooo much fun jumping again and doing the tricks like before....... my back's aching a little... maybe a little too much for a first day back after a 2 and a half week injury?.... eh.... oh I'm going to get new glasses... new frames. I'm supposed to get contacts (well I was a year ago) but my parents are lazy and cheap LOL, and the glasses are free on the health plan so *shrug*... well not free cause if I pick a more expensive pair then we have to pay a bit... I think it's like 75 dollars on the frames... which used to be almost all of it... but I suppose now it's more... I mean, they're not kid frames anymore for one, and for another prices on everything have been ballooning. . . . I've been wanting black frames for a while... but I suppose as soon as I get those they will cease being ok to wear and start being really really "lame" ... they probably already are, but I'm always last to know about these things... I guess anything that doesn't make me look bad (worse ? lol) will be ok with me. I have to get up early tomorrow and go to a Drama Club meeting. Then Lysy's graduation will be at 7:30... well.... I should probably go to bed... though I should clean my email box... I probably have one actual message to me though, that's not spam or a newsletter, or a Yahoo Groups summary thing... *sigh* .... ^^ but I did have fun. . .ummm... no more secret project work as of yet... or anything constructive... I went to a lot of places today (stores... then bowling blah) so... no time today. . . . tomorrow I'll have 6 hours or so between gigs... hehe can I call them gigs? ... well I don't see why not... :).... oh yeah I found this old notebook of mine that I wrote in between 8-9 months and a year and a half ago (but haven't seen it in 8-9 months) but there was all this writing and these ideas and neat scribbles... it was fun reading it. I found a vampire story, a bunch of poetry, a few ideas for stories, and the 17 Commandments of Camp!! (RINI !!!!!) heeheehee the vampire story is ... strange... strange that I wrote it March 2002, and yet it seems almost precognative ... *cocks head*.... anyway I should be getting myself off to bed so I can get up in time to make it to the meeting... Alyssa called me to remind me, but I was out and didn't get back till, well, 11:30 to hear the message, and she wanted me to call her, so I couldn't really call her... that would be kinda rude? I don't think you're supposed to call after... 9.... ? anywaaaaaaay! g'night!
Wednesday, June 11, 2003
Yay! School is SO over... but I don't think it's quite sunken in yet... <<... anyway... I'm tired. been working on my secret project... lol... I dunno why I keep calling it that... um it SHALL open July 1st... look for it... *wink wink*. . . . um . . . I'm tired. . . . I need to go to bed now. . . I haven't done anything else I should have. . . oops and I forgot to check my other email account for like a week *lol* . . . .<< . . . . . >>. . . . . anyway maybe I'll check in tomorrow, but I'm going to be busy for the next few days: Birthday party tomorrow, Alysya Graduation Friday, possible celebration Saturday?.... dunno... plus Drama Club meeting on Friday... hmph.... well see you sometime
Monday, June 09, 2003
Mood: Meh... kinda kooky
EEEEEE!!!! .... meehhhhhhhhhhhhh........ ><.............. tomorrow's the last day! I have to make sure I tie up all the loose ends... and all that jazz... >< >< >< >< ><......... but I'll be relieved when it's over. Been neglecting online stuff like email (so if you're checking here to see where I am... I'm just being neglectful ;) ) ..... see ya tomorrow.... <<
Sunday, June 08, 2003
Mood: slightly better
*laughs* My stupid mother's gotten tired of my constantly saying things like "I did it because I knew you'd hate it" or "I'm just waiting for you to yell at me" etc. Ha ha ha. Does she even realize what a tyrant she is? That's almost funny. She's so bipolar, but it's not bipolar because that is like longterm switching of moods. Hers is more like violent mood swings.
Anyway I stopped being mad and crying about that. I know, it was just a few seconds after I posted that other entry that I started writing this one. But yeah. Um.
ANYWAY what I started typing all those precious moments ago... I have forgotten... oh yeah. The SAT's went well. I didn't see Konran there though. .. .. . They were pretty easy. Too much time. I looked around the class and I think just about everyone finished early on just about every section. There was only one section where I didn't have enough time because I blanked out in the middle and totally forgot something elementary ><. Oh well. I hope I didn't screw up the verbal sections; sometimes those critical readings get me ... things like where you have to infer stuff. Luckily, I knew all the vocabulary questions mahahaha... I think I probably just got lucky heehee... at least... ... see now I'm starting to doubt myself lol.... sigh... oh well. You know It's been about half an hour since I typed that *sigh* haha... well I guess i'm done now.
Grr. Have I mentioned lately how much I hate my mother? HATE. Yes I rather think that is an apt word. And "Mother", the appellation that she hates ever so much. Oops. Did I say that? *hand to mouth* Yeah, well, I'm really tired of her goddamn attitude problem. I thought teenagers were supposed to be the ones who acted out and got really moody. Yeah, well turns out my mother is a frigging psychopath who needs medication or she goes frigging nuts. And I have no sympathy for that because she doesn't care enough to go to the doctor or whatever. I have no sympathy for her because she thinks that she is the only person in the world who could possibly be "going through what she is" or whatever. And you know she spent all year complaining about her job. Every day. Every goddamned day. Excruciating details and all. I never said a word! NEVER! I came home every day and frigging sucked it up like she said to. She made ME feel weak because I couldn't take it. Well you know what? Maybe I can't take it! Maybe I just can't frigging take it anymore. . . .
Deep breaths. . . . . . . . Well that's fine. You know, only one more year and I don't ever have to see her again if I don't want to. And maybe I won't.
Friday, June 06, 2003
Mood: *pant* dying of heatstroke
EEEEEEH It is soooo hot... *pants* today is supposedly breaking the record (well the record's at 90 and the projected high is 96... don't know if we're quite there yet but we might as well be). I hate the heat. >< blech. Today went off without too much of a hitch. . . was nearly late for the drama club meeting and made it JUST in time heehee. And the sign in thing went a lot better than I'd even hoped (I'd been worried as to how I should do that lol). . . . The Spanish final was HARD!!! JEESH! On some of them I had NO idea and just had to guess randomly. <<. 14 x .25 . . . . . ? darn. library fine. hehe.... it really is tooooo hot.
Mood: Slightly relieved But still worried
Well! I finished my English essay. I have to leave to get to the Drama Club meeting (at lunch time) at 10:30. Oh buoy ;). Now to take a shower, wash my hair, study for Spanish final... and look for the math notebook... *sigh* ttyl ;)
Thursday, June 05, 2003
Wednesday, June 04, 2003
Well. I had to go through and do all the chores in the entire house. My lazy sister sat in the backroom all night and goofed around with her sewing while my dad yelled at me that the house was a mess so I did everything. . . Knowing full while that whatever I did wouldn't be good enough. Sure enough, as soon as my mom walked in she yelled at me for putting the mail on top of the breadbox so I could clean off the counter. *sigh* And noted that there is a "wet spot" somewhere on the carpet. Oh that is so my fault. I really don't get why nothing is ever good enough. Jeesh, you know, if I get straight A's (when I get straight A's-- which actually hasn't been for a year now, but) THAT'S not good enough. I think that's why I don't care anymore. Why bother if even 100% isn't good enough?. . . I'm so stressed out... and numb... I cryed today in English when my teacher was yelling at the class. I don't know if anyone saw me; I was in the corner, and I turned my head to look at the wall. *shrug* what's the difference. I cryed this morning because my mother yelled at me when I said I was staying after because she thought I was trying to get out of chores. I cryed when I was putting away the dishes, because I was imagining all the things my parents would say when they came into the kitchen to nitpick what i did, which I didn't have to do anyway. It's not like I'm sloppy putting things away, or doing things, but I don't do everything exactly the way they like it "too much water on the sponge" "not enough soap on the sponge" "these plates are stacked in the wrong order"..... Funny. I never talk to my friends about being depressed or overwhelmed... I've tried hinting at it.... I think I tried talking about it maybe... but they don't want to listen. I don't blame them. I know what it's like to be leaned on. I don't want to put that kind of a burden on anyone else. It's not a pleasant thing. Especially when you were looking for someone else to lean on yourself to begin with, and I don't think I know anyone who is well adjusted and sturdy. And so it goes.... I know ... I just realized this sounds so ... gripey... but I don't have any other release so if you don't like it stop reading. I always "act" around people to produce the desired effects. Manipulation? ... hardly if it's for their own good a lot of times... Hm. Makes me wonder if I ever stop acting.
Thursday: Bring in math notebooks
Thursday: Bring in Library books; interrogate librarians
Thursday 7:00 -- PLAY (stay after till 7, then till play is over... 10 ish? later? dunno)
Thursday -- English paper worth about half my quarter grade
Friday: Study for Spanish final
Friday: Drama Club Meeting; take attendence, take email addresses
Friday: Spanish Final
Friday: Turn in English paper
Friday: Study for SAT's
Saturday: SAT's 8:00
Sunday: Study for History Final
Sunday: Write Poem for English
Monday: History Final
Monday: Read English poem to class
Monday: Study for Biology final. Majorly
Monday: Write Drama Final
Monday: Drama Incentive points
Tuesday: Biology Final
Tuesday: Drama; clean dressing room/ whatever activity is planned for that day
Friday: Lysy Graduation
Week or two later: Pray report card is ok; in the meantime worry worry worry till I can't function
Week or Two later: Be punished by parents
End of June: Have Secret Project finished
End of June: Give Rini 20-some-odd dollars
July 1st: Launch Date.....
That's all for now.
Tuesday, June 03, 2003
Mood: Relieved... but braced for the next problem
WHEW. I did my English project today and I think it went over pretty well ^^;;. I still have to do an english essay tonight (don't know why he made them due so close to eachother *sigh*) and then the play is on thursday, and the SAT's on saturday, but the presentation was wearing my nerves very thin... so I'm glad that is SO over ;). I'm happy school is so close to being done. Then I'll have more time for secret project stuff.... (Look for it July 1st!! SHHHH!) hehehe.... anyway, see ya
Monday, June 02, 2003
Mood: Busy.... and "conjunctivitis-ish"
GAAAAAWWWWWLLLY.... I'm working on my english presentation. I'm kind of divided between two things. I pretty much know I want to work with Heart of Darkness, but whether I try to explain this one symbol/metaphor/extension of a theme.... or if I write my own passage in imitation of Conrad and the book. I'm trying to write but I'm having a hard time coming up with good stuff. *sigh* PLUS my eyes hurt. One has been red for a few days now. Really red. So red that it shocked me this morning. the other got pinkish later tonight. I couldn't even look at the computer earlier so I went and took an hour and a half nap. That was nice, but it made me tired. ><.... Anyway, back to work for me.... ;_;
Sunday, June 01, 2003
Well ... before I was on the line... now... something pushed me over... I want to go lie down and die. *nearly starts crying*
*coughs* . . . . Luckily for me I've gotten so incredibly good at repression I'm already forgetting everything and going numb. . . I need candy.
Mood: Ummm... ambiguous?
I dunno how I feel right now. Kinda bummed that I have to do some school work but I don't feel like it. Slightly stressed that my english projects are coming up. Happy I did a little work on the secret project. Frustrated I haven't gotten more work done. Sad that no one has been online lately to talk to. Happy I had pizza for dinner. Anxious monday is tomorrow. Jazzed there are only seven more days of school. Worried something bad will happen to my grade in those seven days or nothing good will happen to them... either way very bad. ><. Annoyed Konran isn't online *beats her with a stick*.... And then I just feel this general malaise of laziness. Oh yes. laaaaazy... *sigh*
*makes strange noises*..... SIGH. . . . English Presentation is Scheduled for tomorrow, won't happen till Tuesday or Wednesday because we're so behind, English paper due Wednesday, my Play is on Thursday, Finals start Friday including my mega-hard Spanish final, Drama Club Meeting Friday where I have to sign everyone in and take notes on the proceedings *and* probably get a list of emails, Saturday is the SAT's, the next Monday is 2 periods of potential stress, and Tuesday is a make-or-break final followed by Drama where my final project (the reflection of the play) is due. Oh dear. But after that I'm... relatively free. There will be Drama Club meetings and stuff... (that will be fun and all, but still it would be nice to know that i have NOTHING to do all summer lol) but no school and no job... wheeee :D ....
I'll feel better in 10 days. Ten days.
Just ten days.
Friday, May 30, 2003
Blah. I'm so tired... my eyes are burning ... because they're tired.... *slow blink*.... AND I forgot my Asimov book in my locker so can't read that this weekend *disappointing indeeeeeeed ><* blah...... blaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.... blah..... First Drama Club Cabinet Meeting... was fun... I think... lol I've been really out of it lately *mentally shakes as though to shake it off*.... anyway I think I'm going to grab my other Asimov and go to bed.... <<..... >>..... zzzzzzzzz....
Thursday, May 29, 2003
I'm hungry and my mom won't cook and there are no clean dishes so I can't make anything. And she wouldn't wash the dishes, made me do it. And she won't shut up about her STUPID STUPID day! She does this EVERY SINGLE *EVERY SINGLE* day!!! JEEEEEEEZE!!!!! Just shut up. Please. Please. Shh shh shh.... don't speak. Read the anger report
for today to get the full picture... It's not rated G, so don't say I didn't warn you.... and it's complete with all the sailor language I bottle up day after day of being sweet and innocent. Enjoy... or don't. What do I care.
*update* feeling a little better now.... anyway, I put up a few things for my "secret project".... <<.... and anyone who wants to look and kinda beta them, that'd be a help. So far I have the About Me
layout.... the Writings
layout... and the first Art
layout (which I think I'm going to change because it doesn't really work right heh). Sooo I don't know if anyone reading this can help (Cristal??? *raises eyebrow*) but any comments would be appreciated... just keep flames to yourself or I'll be forced to dismember you and use your body parts to build me a new website ^_~ AND DON'T STEAL OR I'LL KILL YOU! for the writings page you might have to copy and paste the url into the bar... for some reason geocities is picky about linking to images... *shrug*
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
It's hot today. I'm reaaaaaaaaaheeeeheeeeeeeeeaaaaally sore today. We got a trampoline Sunday, and I spent nearly all day yesterday jumping on it. Many hours. Many stupid stunts... Many injuries. LOL.... but Much fun ;). There's some neat tricks one can do on a trampoline
It's really hot today. Really hot. I don't like it when it's hot. I like it when it's cold. And raaaaaaaaainy :D
Uh. . . . I have homework to do. . . . sometime before the end of school... hehe.... which is in 10 days!!!!!! yipee! mwahahahahaha <<..... >>..... mwahahaha!
My brother needs to stop being so annoying ><.... I guess that's everything and anything that came to my mind ;) till tomorrow....
Sunday, May 25, 2003
Mood: *yawn* Tired
I'm tiiiiiiiired. Konran came with me to the Abe Awards. We dressed up oddly (for us) and some strange people talked to us on the bus for 20-30 blocks. We made a bunch of stuff up about ourselves and where we were going LOL. We ended up being late-ish, arriving *just* as the awards were starting (we missed the reception, but that's just as well). I think Konran was bored, but some of it was funny even if she didn't get the kind of "inside" jokes...
I made Drama Club Cabinet! I really couldn't believe that at all. Plus... well... something else I won't mention *coughcough*..... anyway lol.....
I slept from noon or 1ish til 6ish.... because I didn't get any sleep last night (except for 2 hours or so). We didn't get any work done, lol. There wasn't really anything TO DO once it really came down to it... I think. . .
There was something I was going to complain about... but I forgot what it was.... ..... Oh yeah! WTF is with discrimination against page builders? Right. I would like to express my general dislike for drag-and-drop pagebuilders like Homestead and Geocities, but I absolutely adooooooore Dreamweaver. I know HTML. I know that if I wanted to get any particular look I wanted I could fiddle with code for hours and hours and eventually get it. Or even just typing codes for simple tables that I KNOW how to do, I could just type those out by hand. BUT WHY WASTE MY TIME?? I really don't get the elitism people feel for having done their own coding by hand. It's like the difference between drawing a straight line by hand and using a ruler (pretending for a second that one could draw a perfectly straight line by hand, with just a lot of time and effort). Between playing the entire drum sequence/synth sequence in digital music or doing it once and making it a loop. Between hand painting an effect in Photoshop or using a Style/filter (tastefully!) to get the same effect. It REALLY bugs me when others think they're so much better for using Notepad than being smart about working (Remember: "Work smarter, not harder" ? lol) and .... blah. Ok I'm ranted out lol. too tired.
I feel reaaaaaaaaaally tired and my vision is starting to blur and move... I'm dizzy.... *wah*.... I want to complain more but I don't think I can type anymor----- *falls asleep.... head hits keyboard* fkjddjsfwioejfcvbtrsdfhdsfhhhhhhhhhgeathjs
Thursday, May 22, 2003
Mood: Right on, Right on!
Mmmmmmm.... Abe Awards is tomorrrrrrow! yay! It promises to be fun. Though I had to go buy a dress cause I have no dresses (except for one that is old and from my childhood... or .... at least 4 or 5 years ago lol). Konran is coming! And we're going to work on our secret project << ... >>.... ..... or... err... we're going to intend to.... ^^;;..... hehehehe..... anyway...
You are a six-winged Halfbreed!
You belong neither to Heaven nor to Hell. You are
doomed to wander the Realms That Are In Between
for all eternity until the Judgement Day. Your
fate is absolute loneliness. You are punished
for a crime you did not commit and redemption
is not within your reach. Your powers are
unknown - it's said that a halfbreed will be
the end of everything one day. Therefore you
are feared and hated. Your only hope is to find
the other half of your soul - it is your only
solace. What kind of supernatural being are you? brought to you by Quizilla
I needed a place to stick that for a while. I don't feel like editing the about me page. . bah. I'll do that from now on lol... who cares?? hehehe.... I'm still thinking about working on the drama photos... so I can show everyone the spiffy drama pictures... which would be nice.... but for now I have nothing to show. Anyhoo. g'night ;)
Monday, May 19, 2003
Mood: too lazy to choose a kao-ani....
bah. I'm lazy. I don't feel very good. Very tired and yet brimming with energy at the same FRICKIN time... *closes eyes slowly... opens them slowly*. Sorry. My entries have been pretty vague huh? well remember, this wasn't supposed to be a BLOG at first, but more of an updates page... then slowly I just started adding details. Don't know why. I figured I needed a draw for people to come back. Maybe you like me and want to see how I'm doing ? *bats eyelashes* LOL.... ok.... well... *ahem*.
I have a test in Biology tomorrow. Plus I have to do some stupid work on some stupid... work for that class lol. I'm just so lazy I don't get anything done lately. Well. I feel like going and reading some Dilbert comics. That puts me in a slightly better mood... or... does it? hehe... <<....
if you want to send me words of encouragement... (i.e. tell me to get off my butt and do some work, either in real world or on my secret project -- that i really need to do) You are encouraged to do so (email me...........I don't get emails anymore, just IMs............ so my box is lonely........)
Friday, May 16, 2003
Eh. haven't written in a while. Was busy. Went to the beach over the weekend and didn't have time to write a "good bye" entry hehe, like I wanted. Anyway, it was fun. Good weather (surprisingly and contrary to weather reports-- there was actually a severe weather warning.... ? ahhh, the "Butterfly Effect" in use *laughs* ) Anyway. It was an ok week. Went by pretty fast. 5 more days for Seniors. 16 more days for us ^^;;. That's 16 days for me to get my act together LOL. *ahem* Anywaaaaaaaay.... Oh yeah, I've been working on the layout for my secret project *shhhhhhh -- lol* and it's going to be really really nice. It will have 7-8 actual layouts (each subpage will have a layout ^^ just like I always wanted) and so far it's taking an uber-long time to do all the graphics... *sigh* As usual, I did the About Me section first (although I redesigned the graphics a little last night (changed the colors)) Ever notice how I use blue on EVERYTHING?? I love blue. Don't know why... "there's something about blue"... hehe (CB fans?.... *crickets...* ok ok I get the picture). Speaking of CB I WANT TO GO SEE THE MOVIE!!! WAH! But I need ID to prove I'm 17. Which I AM. >< For ... seven months now *nod nod* And I need to find some time and money to see the movie with *sigh*. Hm. Well I'm gonna go work on the secret project now ^_~ ttyl ;)
Saturday, May 10, 2003
Hey, sorry I haven't written sooner... After IB tests and missing school for those two days I got a little behind ^^;;... not that I'm really actually that caught up... and now I'm leaving tomorrow for the beach so I'll miss monday :D ^^;;.... anyway. My tests went well! ! ! I think. Day one was a hard test -- there were a couple parts to questions where I had *no* idea or kept getting nonsensical answers (something like for the third side of a triangle with sides 2 and 4 I got 10,325.34 or something lol -- no it wasn't a triangle problem, but just for example). *Sigh* But I DID have time to go through the entire thing and at least attempt every question (which is more than a lot of people at the test could say). The second day was easier (even though that was a 2 hour test versus the first day's 1 hour test) and I got done with that to my satisfaction 5 minutes before the end. We went over two of the questions in class on friday and I was pleased to find that I did them right (or at least, I thought i did, you know how you start thinking "Wait... maybe I didn't write that!" lol)
. . . . dum dee dum... um... been working on my mirror site (ok, you may as well know) and I'm looking at hosting it at freewebs. However! I need a naaaaame! ! ! ! Maybe I'll go to stories.com and set up a poll or something. *sigh*
I had this really bad dream last night. I was in this jungle and this T-Rex was trying to kill me! ! ! There were other peoples there too, but it felt like he was specifically coming after me! !. It was kind of set up like a video game, though, because the "first time" (as though I had to do it over and over till I did it right) I hid in this portable shower... or maybe it was just a normal shower... anyway, it was more like a shower in a port-o-potty. The T-Rex spun me around in the shower (like kicking it and making it go rolling... and when the T-Rex went away some other people came to help me and my back/neck had broken! So they took out my neck/backbone (yeah... don't ask... at the time it seemed normal) so I was paralyzed and at THAT point I just KNEW the T-Rex would stick his face down any second cause he'd be right there! But then I think that is when my sister's CD player fell on me and hit me in the back. I went back to sleep and it was like trial number two, and this time I was in this big big big mansion thing... that was actually a store. So. I started grabbing lots of clothing and stuff I wanted to keep. Hey, the T-Rex is gonna destroy this anyway... I'll just take what I want :D hehe... that was the best part of the dream. :D THEN I had a dream that it was Sunday and I didn't get up until 10:10 thereabouts and we were supposedly going to leave about 10.... so I had to rush and get stuff and yeah... ><
I still have to turn in my application for a letter... I hope it's not too late! ! ! ^^;; that would suck majorly. Yes sir. *sigh*
Today is my sister's birthday and I didn't get her anything. hmmm... *eyes the blank cd's still in the package on her shelf...* Hmmm... dare I? lol... See ya later tonight or maybe tomorrow morning. I want to officially say goodbye with a kao-ani as my mood icon lol.
Sunday, May 04, 2003
omgoodness... I should be studying but I'm so tired I can't. I'll be so happy after Tuesday. Because my IB test will be over then. I'm going to have to spend the entire 4 hours I have from when I wake up tomorrow to when I have to leave to go to my test to study or I'll be screeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwd.... *buries head in hands*. Sigh. Oh well. At least I don't have to go to school tomorrow or tuesday. Hm. I have to turn in my application for a Letter. *makes face*. This computer is now officially mine, btw. Yep yep! The good one (or at least... sort of.... <<.... >>... this WAS the one that went "belly up" a year ago or so *starts to fret*) Anyway I'm too tired to think. G'night ;)
Saturday, May 03, 2003
Gah... my headache won't go away... I'm in the process of copying files onto CD from my old computer (because I'm getting my mom's computer; she bought a lap top! hee hee) That is good because her computer is faster and my tablet will only work on hers (or my dad's, but not mine; mine's so old it has no USB port!). Lucky Kristine gets my comp now >:) lol. maha. I'll have to install some stuff over here... and take time making sure I have all my files off that one... I'm burning my second CD of crap right now. . . . . My IB test is on Monday and Tuesday ^^;;!!!! I have to study really a lot (see? I'm starting to fall apart! Me no make sense! ha... haha). I BELIEVE the one on monday is in the afternoon, so that gives me the morning to review *starts to really fret* oh gosh... Friday (yesterday, right? *thinks...* Yes, yesterday) I, rather on the spur of the moment, decided to interview for a Drama Cabinet position. --_--;; Think I'll get one? I hope so. I won't be devistated if I don't, but it would be disappointing at least. *ummmm* I'm researching Domains for hosting my secret project (LOL). If anyone knows a really good, cheap host I would be forever grateful if you tell me about it (Right now I'm looking at Endore, anyone have comments about them?????). *siiiiiiiigh*. I'm excited to get a domain... it really is about time; 4 years after my first website? lol. Yeah. . . . . WOW! I went and checked at Geocities... and the 4th anniversery of my first website was actually February 2nd of this year! ! ! I thought I was exaggerating a little... ^^;;. Darn. That makes me feel old. Ah, time to go make another CD. Ta! *wish me luck on my test!* *crosses fingers*
A cute thing I found... maybe cute isn't the best word for it :P (updates daily, haha).
Wednesday, April 30, 2003
Mood: School Dazed
I wasn't allowed on the computer yesterday; my mom had to do some big project (of course she waited until 8 to try to start, 8:30 to get about to start, and 9 o'clock to really actually START). All i had time to do was IM Konran. *sigh*. I'm at school now in the library during first (supposedly) studying for my math IB test, yes, I'm supposed to be doing that, lol, for Statistics class. I thought I'd take a short break at the beginning to check in here, though. Seriously, our ferret is sooooooooo cute!!! I'll have pictures of him soon, methinks. *raises eyebrow* my sister is in here, too, but she has claaaaass..... she's skiiiipping.... oh ok, she says she's supposed to be in here too *laughs*.... anyway, until tomorrow... or tonight maybe. Bye
Monday, April 28, 2003
Mood: Gettin' tired ... getting ready for bed
I forgot to tell ya'll a few days ago; I added a new wallpaper to the free stuff (which I realize I haven't re-linked to the main page, hehe, sorry, I'm dumb sometimes so here's the link
.) PLUS when you follow that link you may notice a new section... that's right Photoshop 7 brushes. Sorry, for now all I have up is GIF previews (....>< Freeservers SUCK.... long story short: I can't upload them for some reason). But you will be able to get them once I get my top-secret project done (a domain, shhh ^_~) in July. I also made 2 free banners, but I didn't feel like putting them up. Maybe tomorrow, eh? Yesterday we bought a ferret!!! Yes, one of those weasel-looking things ;) but it's sooooooooooo cute and it's soooooooooo sweet, really. We don't have a name yet... I suggested Bandit because it has a black mask... and it's really... kinda devious, lol. (I say it, but its a "he"). Suggestions? BTW, I just noticed that this site is best viewed at night; i made it at night, so during the day when there's lots of sunshine coming through the window it looks way too dark. But look at it at night and it is pretty ^_~. I'm kinda busy playing homework catch up, but maybe by this weekend I'll be relaxed enough and have enough slack .... wait!! IB tests are next weeeeeek! Nooooooooo! >< That means I have to study all weekend. *Sigh*. Well the weekend after is my sister's birthday (what to get her? what to get her??????) My head hurts ><.um... um um um ummmmmm.... I've got to do some major research for dea--- oops! can't tell you ;) lol. My ferret is so cute!... but he did draw blood on me today. I didn't notice till a while after (it doesn't really hurt-- his claws are tiny-- he IS just a baby). but now the scratches are all swollen, haha. It's no worse than a cat scratch though (actually cat scratches are worse!). My cats keep trying to pop the ferret :( They need to stop that. Anyway, it's about time for bed ... bye for now :D
Sunday, April 27, 2003
Mood: ....I don't know
WELL new layout!!! New as in I updated the Kamira (She's now wearing clothes... to the disappointment of many, i'm sure) and the background is now black, so it matches a little more (though I must say I was getting used to that funky black on white look ^_~) Now the scene drawn makes sense... it could have easily happened (she's wearing sleep clothes) so she might have heard a noise and gotten up to investigate... versus the Kamira was in the shower and she heard a noise and happened to be holding her gun one, lol. .... I'm watching game shows... something I shouldn't be allowed to do because I can't help myself from SCREAAAAMING at the television every 30 seconds... lol. I feel kinda sickly... but still strangely hungry (even though I must have eaten 10,000 calories yesterday LOL... j/k... well... <<... lol) oh yeah!!! Yesterday after I went downtown with Konran and Silven I stopped at Fred Meyer (because I knew my mom wouldn't be home, so I wanted to buy some dinner/lunch/whatever meal you can eat at 4 o'clock) and when I payed at the U Scan, I was supposed to get 4 dollars in change. Instead I got four 5 dollar bills in change!!! Mahahahahahahahaha!! My rationale was that good things do happen to nice people. I think that that must have been one of those character testing moments... well I know now that if it comes down to get 16 dollars extra or be honest and cop up to a mechanical error... I'm SO taking the money ;) .... besides, at first I wasn't even sure it was a mistake.... PLUS after I realized it was.... I actually got back in line to try again ^^;; lol (but this lady took the machine and blah blah blah called the cashier over blah blah who opened the machine to put money in blah so I went for the door blah and heard a message on the PA "Annete!! Please get back to the UScan!" hahaha).... stupid Fred Meyer has caused me at least 16 dollars waste in taking years off my life (high blood pressure!) and literally taking minutes from my day by closing off that one exit from the building >< grrrrrr.... mahahahaha .... anyway see you later :D
Thursday, April 24, 2003
Mood: Kinda Grumpy
Ehhh... I tried to work out some things... think through some ideas... but now I'm even more conflicted and indecisive than before. I'm grumpy... No school tomorrow! *dances*.... but I'm quite hungry... I've been waiting for dinner since I got home... >< AND I wore these shoes that had really high heels today (they were thick, but high) and they didn't hurt me till about the end of 6th (which I spent on my feet looking for costumes in the costume room) and I'd decided I was gonna go to the library to check out some books on websites etc (research for dea-- oops, um... the secret project ;) ) so I went, but I had to walk to the MAX station which nearly killed me, then I walked from the MAX to the library, through the library, wandered around, got my books, walked to the MAX station, and from the MAX station to the bus stop. THEN my bus (which took forever to arrive) broke down 50 blocks outbound, but still 30 blocks away from my house... so I walked 2 blocks so the bus could see me at a stop (so I wasn't hidden behind a broken down bus), waited... and a bus came... I took that... walked from the bus stop home.. and now I'm positively crippled! *waaaaaah!* .... *sighs* and someone in drama warned me, too, lol. It is raining.
Monday, April 21, 2003
Sometimes I feel like reaching out and KILLING someone else!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! >< I'll have to do some deep thinking later... I just don't know what to do sometimes when the only thing I like doing becomes something I hate . . . . o_O.... . . . . . . . . Easter was good. Did I say that already? I got lotsa candy :D :D :D :D Yeah, candy isn't good for me, but blah!!! it gives me headaches, but blaaaah!!! something that tastes THAT good just CAN'T be that bad! haha. I'm really happy with my kao-ani. They're so cute! (Not MINE, remember, but i found them... link in the credits and in an earlier post, too if you want some). I will be changing my layout soon... or not... depending on how i feel. I was only leaving it up because SOMEONE said they wanted to see it first *glares* lol. Anyway, I might not, too. Might be feeling to drained, ja know??? Ta ta for now
Mood: Hungry... kinda Lazy.... Headache-y...
ehhhhh.... --_-- I'm hungry. And kinda lazy-tired feeling... and I have a headache. :P ick. I have an IB test in a couple-o'-weeks... May 5, 6. I get to miss the whole days of school those two days... but I do have to take monster tests, so it balances out ;). The next monday and tuesday I might be missing *more* school to go to the beach ^_^.... not under the most pleasant of circumstances, but still I get to go there + miss school. maha! I think I might have to figure out a way to take my Spanish class those two IB days. . *sigh* if I get more than 3 absences in that class I have to come in to make it up >< I don't know what that entails...but it must be unpleasant. lol. Bah. . . . . . . . um. . . . I have to go try to get some dinner made ^_~
Saturday, April 19, 2003
Gah! I feel so bad!!!! I got my report card.... and I'm pretending we didn't... I'd actually put it out there (I'd have to write a note explaining one teacher's note:"late/missing assignments/projects"... well I DID turn it in, just late, can't do anything about that NOW)... but if I did then Kristine would have to put hers out there, too, and well.... my mom would *murder* her for what she got, methinks ^^;;;;;. It's not really fair: I have 2 A's, and 3 B's that are SOOOO close to being A's but aren't (89-point-something in Biology, 88.8 in Math, and in my Spanish class I think it's 90-point-something, but an A is at 91 in there :( ), and one C that is actually a B now. --_-- Blah!!! I have to register for the SAT's.... and get a perfect score now :P lol. No, these grades were just 3rd quarter, which means they don't count (they're like glorified progress reports).... but still, my parent's wouldn't understand... and in 6th grade they yelled at me because I got 2 B's... :( ! ! !..... My hair is in lots of little braids... not lots... and not my whole head or anything cause my hair is so long and thick and blah that would take like 6 hours, haha.... but I have some. I like it. Too bad it took like 45 minutes... so I can't really do it in the mornings. BUT I slept in it last night and this morning it still looks ok... I could do that I suppose. Anyhoo. . . . look for updates coming soon.... maybe not to here, but DEFINITELY keep your eyes peeled at the end of June/beginning of July *wink WINK*.... That is all I can say, for I am sworn to secrecy. Really, I'd be DEAD meat if I said a THING about it.... (LOL) Anyway, till later ;)
Tuesday, April 15, 2003
Mood: .... Hungry.....
.... It's lunch time here at school. we have 10 minutes left. I'm kinda tired. And hungry. . . I feel like I need to sleep. I kept falling asleep on the bus and everytime I did my head would slide down the glass (resting head against the window) and it would wake me up.... it was like torture!!! ER.... PLUS I'm having some major anger problems with certain peoples and their certain *ego problem* ..... *coughcoughcough*.... At least if you have a huge ego, you don't have to put me down, do you??? Ok, yes I suppose you would. Well . . . then. . . . . *ahem*.. . ... . I have Halpern next. (English. It's not English anymore though, it's different; it's "Halpern" LOL). And I forgot to bring my Heart of Darkness book to school. It's a good book if you don't mind that it is really deep, hehe.... I love my strange psycho-ness that makes me say things to people that are supposed to be insulting them or giving them a hint/tipping them off.... etc, but I always end up rephrasing it JUST enough so that I don't think they'd get it. Strange... why would I bother saying anything at all then??? dude.... I gotsta think about that. My essay is due tonight at midnight... rather, it WAS due at midnight, but now it is due at 4:56 AM tomorrow morning LOL. Kinda arbitrary? I think that's when my teacher gets up in the morning, so it makes him laugh that we'll be going to bed when he gets up XP .... or maybe it really IS arbitrary. Anyway... this is too long and the bell is about to ring. Bye
Monday, April 14, 2003
Mood: Tired.... and nervous +
Well I finished the first draft of my essay, but I don't think there's much hope that there won't be a little note on my report card. It will probably say "Missing major assignments" or something like that. i realized something today in Spanish: I really don't care what grade I get, but I care if my parents yell at me. I don't even think they'd PUNISH me even if I got a bad grade (which to them would be a C, which I'm almost inevitably getting in History cause of that essay) but I think they'd yell at me... and I really really really dislike it when people yell at me... I don't know.... you know.... I think I have this obsession with being perfect... and when someone points out I'm not.... I get very upset. Hm. Maybe that's it. Well then why don't I care if I get a bad test grade/grade on a report card? .... strange... I'll have to think of this more... Tonight I must do the full essay for the final draft is due tomorrow ^^;; Yeah... what's the use of turning in a rough draft today when it's due in final form tomorrow? I dunno.... but I have to turn it in. Note: did I say this already? Kamira at left was originally drawn to be in clothes, cause I drew it many days ago as a pic for a layout at deadthing (before Konran suggested she draw them), then I thought our site would get better hits if there were people in swimsuits... so I put her in a swimsuit... but then I colored her w/o it and it looked really nice... so I just left it.... considered trashing it /adding clothes whatever... but then I was like, well, she's drawing them anyway.... so it doens't matter.... hehe... that was the bell. Byes
Sunday, April 13, 2003
My mother is mean. Mean mean mean. She tells me to shut up and be quiet at the dinner table like I'm insignificant. Enough people already think that and convey it to me; it's really nice to get it from my mom, too. Makes me feel very special, indeed. Now I need to go do this essay... and repress this so that I'm not a wreck anymore. Sometimes... I really feel like... if I just killed them... everything would be better. More often I can find another easy-to-take-down target . . . luckily for me, so far I only haven't done myself in because I'm afraid of going to Hell for it. Just praying for a "happy accident" I guess.
Friday, April 11, 2003
Hm. Sorry. These colors don't match. But I REALLY don't want to go in and change the color scheme on 100 pages of content here ^^;; sorry... next time, for the next site I do, I'll use css so I can change all the pages with 1 change of code *karate moves*. For now, hang in there, k? and try to ignore the slight ugliness ^^;;... The girl to the left is Kamira... she fights aliens... in the nude?.... sometimes.... ^_~
I'm starting to use some new mood icons/kao-ani that I got here.
They're cute and there's a ton more different ones. I might switch again in a few months cause I found some other cute ones. No school today, so I feel pretty good about that. But I have to do this essay this weekend and turn it in before monday... or on monday... they don't turn in grades till monday. I don't really care if I get a C+, but if the little note on the card says I'm missing a major assignment then my parents will flip. . . so I have to get it in even if I don't get points ^^;;.... I got two essays back in English. An A on one and a B+ on the other. Really good for THAT class. And that's better than I expected on the B+ essay (my topic wasn't very good to start with).. .. .. Anyhoo. I bought waterguns to squirt my cast with. They are having a memorization check on Monday >:) mahahahahaha! lol. I'm kinda hungry... >>.....<<....>>... oh and I'm kinda angry at someone for making me feel bad >< I hate it when people are so arrogant. Oh weeeeeeell ;)
Wednesday, April 09, 2003
Mood: Kinda "lame" feeling
I went to the library and checked out the books I need to do my history report. But... I guess it's this late it won't matter if I email it to him Thursday or Friday. Gah. No school Friday. End of the quarter. I might consider not doing it at all, but I don't want it to say that i'm missing significant assignments on my report card... that and having a C+ might ruffle my parents a little. I don't know why it matters anyway. 3rd quarter isn't a final grade; semesters are what count. *sigh* Anyway... been spending a little bit too much time at Sparknotes trying to help with homework/questions people have... I like being helpful... what can I say? I'm a freaking freak lol... I hate television so much. It's absolute torture... ooohhhhh shoot... I forgot to turn in something in biology.... *makes face*.... well... it should be ok. Heart of Darkness is creepy... anyone agree? lol.... .... >>.....see ya later ;)
Tuesday, April 08, 2003
I can't find a graphic that's really "manic" hehe, in the way that I mean it. I'm definitely feeling very manic right now! I have energy... so much energy... my fingers are like... full of energy, lol and I'm talking a mile a minute and I had all these plans but now they're a little bit delayed because my brother's baseball game is at 6 instead of 4:30 like I thought it was going to be, which matters because I was thinking of going to the library to return some books and pick up a couple of new ones :D :D right now the Fifth Element is on and it's a good movie. . . . . Today was an alright day in school today. Drama is last period so it nearly always leaves me in a good mood for coming home. Today was an especially good day in drama... I'm the director, remember. It's hard telling people what to do. I don't like doing it, lol. Strange? Maybe... I just don't feel like, in most places, I have any right to... or that I'm superior to them in a manner that would allow me to boss them around ;). Anyhooooo... I'm working on a new layout... tentatively... if this new website project pans out then I won't... but if we decide to can it then I probably will ;)... depends... *shrug*. See ya later
Sunday, April 06, 2003
Mood: So sad
I'm so sad. I'm always sad on Sundays. On Friday I stayed home, went to the doctor, nearly had a heart attack when they told me it WASN'T an ear infection, and lived the rest of the day in pain and guilt. The weekend mainly sucked, and I put off every ounce of homework that I had hoped to get done. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me... *attempts smile* I really don't know how I've been passing the time. I can't stand to do the things I like to, watching TV is tedious, and talking to people online makes my blood pressure rise... But I'm not sad, per se, it's a numb, sick feeling... gah. . . whatevah... been busy thinking about a new web project Konran and I have been talking about (which hasn't been too fun to do, either, though it seems like it should be very fun). Oh well. . . Hm. I absolutely MUST write out a plan, as just doing whatever I want whenever I want is causing me too much guilt. End of the quarter is thursday (no school friday) and I don't know whether to keep things the way they are and think of it as a "cry for help" or work real hard and cover it all up. Heh. Sad thing is, I'd bet it IS a passive agressive cry for attention, but it would be just like me to sabotage my subconscious *laughs* Well I can always make myself laugh ;) This funk will be over I'd bet, soon. Mondays are good for me... better than Sundays.
Thursday, April 03, 2003
Mood: PAAAAAAAAAIN! MAJOR PAIN! ^^;;
MY EAR!!! IT HURTS!!! A LOT!!... I took tylenol already... it feels all plugged up and achey, and before it was so intense (the pain) my left eye was watering at school, and then tonight I thought I was going to cry... i've been downplaying it at home because I don't want to go overboard and have everyone think I'm faking.. which I'm not *cries* man, I just can't win... Anyone know what it means when you have a sore throat on the same side as your ear ache and it gets worse when you swallow or drink things? Email me if you do... I might go to the doctor tomorrow :P if it still hurts in the morning I'm definitely going to insist I go. Bye bye for now ^_~
Tuesday, April 01, 2003
*note* the following is the post from Sunday around 2 AM that I couldn't post due to server problems or whatever*Mood: WAH!
NO! School starts again tomorrow! Well... it's still Saturday for me cause I haven't gone to bed yet... but it's technically Sunday already. ;^O^; Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *sniff sniff* I hate school so much... it's way not fair, man. AND this stupid HS stuff makes me so mad-sad and icky feeling. AND I've been having horrrible horrible bad bad BAD dreams lately.... :( .... anyway, G'night! I'm gonna try to sleep ;)
Friday, March 21, 2003
Mood: Somewhere between and
Oh Boy. OH BOY.... What am I gonna do... on the one hand I've got one thing going on... and in the other something completely different... oh! and in the other... err... if I had 3 hands... I've got some major ANGER going on about Intermediate Drama. Their butts are OURS when we get back from Spring Break! THEY WILL TASTE THE WRATH OF ADVANCED! *huff puff*.... Speaking of which, Whoo hoo! Spring Break! Ohhhhh thank heaven; i needed this. Phew...
Thursday, March 20, 2003
Wah! I don't like being Stalin!!!!! .......... ahem..... <<....>>..... I feel the need for some kirby coming on <( ' ' )> .. .. .... <(' ' <) .. . .... (> ' ')> ... .... .. .... <( ' ' )> .... ...... ok. All better. well not really... but that helped. NEWS: Go take the new Harmonious Storm Personality Test!!!!!
YEAH! Go! Go Go Go! ........ Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday! Whoo! Whoo hoo! And then a whole week of spring break. Oh thank GOD :P ugh... UGH... School makes me feel so dirty... and I've been having a headache every day for two weeks now... well... every week day, at least... I didn't notice on the weekend... hmmmm --_--
Sunday, March 16, 2003
Um. Updates! ! ! ! New art on the Art page!
You'll recognize the new stuff cause the thumbnails are 9 pixels smaller than the rest (oh yeah, it's way noticable... no seriously, i'm not being sarcastic lol) I got me new headphones to replace the ones that are broken in half. That's awesome. I dyed my hair. Did I mention that? I did it back on Tuesday... and tried to fix it on Thursday (if that's any indication of how well it went, --_-- lol). Next time I want to dye it all black/dark brown and put white streaks in it :P Anyway, now it's kind of a dark brown that glows red in the sunlight, and has orange highlights in it that seem to glow in the dark, lol. The personality test here at HS should be working soon, btw.
Saturday, March 15, 2003
Um. I went to Konran's awesome party today. We went shopping. I didn't buy anything, except for lunch. Then we went out to eat. Today seriously rocked ;). I like the CD I made for her... I want one just like it for me... *thinks about burning herself a copy*.... Um. I have a ton of homework for tomorrow (but at least I finished my freaking math project! ! ! ! It took me hours and hours and hours, and lots of torture and pain and sweat... but it is freaking DONE). There's this freaky french movie on... it's just a bunch of senseless violence as far as I can tell, lol... huuuuuuummmm..... I've done a lot of drawings and stuff lately, but haven't put anything up since... well... last summer (except for oekakis). I could do that... *thinks about it*....
Thursday, March 13, 2003
Gaaaah... *holds head* I do not feel so good. My head hurts... and I have to do this stupid IB math project tonight... --_-- .. . .. I waited til the last minute. . . . I always do that. I can't NOT do that. . .. but now more than ever I'm waiting till the last minute has come and gone to actually do things... i.e. late! Grr... my heaaaaaad! I hope I'm not sick for Konran's birthday party on Saturday (yes, everyone email Konran and wish her a happy birthday... well belated now cause I forgot to mention it here before-- it was the 11th). *squints* the paaaain the paaaaaain *a la that freaky guy who says "the plaaaane!" hahaaha*. Um... what was I going to say? Oh yeah, apparently it's not just me who thinks my mother is going freaking nuts. . . she is so bipolar lately. My dad thinks so, too. Peoples in my house are sick. That's not good. I'm sick too! But does anyone care *pouts*...? Noooooooo they don't! *laughs*... Ok... Like I care if they care, anyway. My brother's suck a faker... ACK! ACK! ACK! . . . . just had to scream. :P
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
Hmm... rehearsals are going ok... I don't like being in charge... it's kinda scary... Oh I never said; I got the people I wanted *dances*. I think K'Leigh is mad that I did. :( Sorry K'Leigh *hug*. You know... It never ever ever occured to me to lie in a blog... it just seemed so unnecessary and self-defeating.... Just thought I'd point that out... Now that i think about it... I've taken everyone else's blog/livejournals/etc as truth... and they're probably not... that's just almost scary *laughs*. . . . Anyway, bye bye. ~~edit~~ GARSH! Another thing. Can't I complain about anything or .... say anything about how much school sucks without my mother giving me a rerun of a lecture about how "everyone's got to do things they don't want to do" and "that's life" and "blah blah blah" and "mwha mwha mwha". Good God. Leave me alone. And for your information, mother, You don't have to do anything that you don't want to. You just have to be prepared to face the consequences. Everyone needs to take Junior IB English with Mr. Halpern. It might change the way you look at things. Or other people. Propriety. Those propriety-driven parents of mine make me sick, Psh.... ~_^ . *rolls eyes* I'm a teenager. It's my JOB to hate my parents. I can't heeeeeelp it *laughs*
Thursday, March 06, 2003
Mood: Not Sure...
Um. New essays. New art (little chibi peoples at the bottom). Waiting for Konran to get on so she can fix the personality test that I screwed up oh so much. And for her to get on so we can go take pictures for the personality buttons. *Sigh* Auditions were so hard (and I was on the other side)... you'd think it would be harder being on stage, and actually auditioning, but it is harder being the director. I'd like to Assistant Direct the musical this year... that sounds like fun. The play I'm doing for drama one acts (actually full-length plays, now) is "On the Verge" by Eric Overmyer. It will be difficult to pull off. I'm gonna have to be a line-nazi... hard core... man... :D
Monday, March 03, 2003
Mmm... I screwed up yesterday on the personality test page (no, it's not yet up for the general public *haughty gesture*...) Sorry Konran... Umm... I got an awesome CD now. It really rocks. A bunch of... rocking oldies, man! :D Ummm.... Teachers vote in half an hour. I'll know then if we go to the end of the school year (as in, June). If we find out that we won't, we still won't know if we get out next week when teachers strike, or in may if they resolve everything. Heh... Anyone familiar with the play "criminal hearts" by Jane Martin? I'm thinking of directing it for our one acts. It's got a lot of foul language and sexual situations... I'd like to cut the latter out (I really don't think most of it was relevant anyway). The other option is "On the Verge" by Eric Overmeyer. I can't find a copy of that though... *grrs* Heh... um... anyway... laterz :D... I've never said "laterz" before... and I don't like that LOL I really don't like adding "z" as a replacement for -ce... or -s... or whatever it replaces... whatever man ;)
Sunday, March 02, 2003
Mood: F--k, don't talk to me
Well the play is over. Damn. I know, I think I complained way too much during the course of it... but now i'm uber-sad that it's over. And I couldn't go to the cast party. In fact, it's going on right now as I type. And then I'm going to sleep... while they have fun... and it's all because I have a stupid mother. I know... I try to not be angry at her... trying to rationalize... trying to think of all the GOOD things she's done and does still... but DAMN! I'm really freaking pissed off at her! *laughs* Apparently she doesn't understand that you don't leave the house for a 15 minute drive 30 minutes early so when I called she wasn't home... and then she also can't understand driving directions... and then she apparently will not take directions from me. Fine ... Fine... Fine... I didn't really want to go anyway. I mean... I'd just be bored cause no one would talk to me *laughs* and I'm too *insert adjective here* to get any help from outside substances... But still... Now I have to do a ton of homework... GAWD ! I can't believe it's over! That is so sad! SOooooOOooooOooooOoooooooooo sad! :( :( :( :( BTW-- updated "Art". Some oekaki now up. Go look at them from oldest to newest and see me get better!
Friday, February 28, 2003
Mood: *happy sigh*
WELL only one more night left! And MaryRose came to see me tonight! yaaaaaay! Unfortunately, there was a sound screw-up tonight on one of the songs :( but it still went rather well. I washed my hair as soon as I came home. Ick! That icky spray stuff.... is.... ick! I have to get my secret pal something really good tomorrow *frets* maybe the cool fog ring blower at Hollywood Lights? Oh! In the process of making a personality test here on Harmonious Storm, where you can find which of us (the five people here, or did you even know there are five people who work here! ! ! Konran, Chishio, Silven and Vertigo. And me, of course), anyway, find which of us you are most like. It shall be cool. I got the code all done, just need some more input from some people and then to make the graphics, preferably using actual photos... but we may be forced to just use some drawings. *shrug* See ya ;)
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Many updates! New personality test results, new guestbook images, fixed links, and I'm in the process of making a personality test for all of you peeps! Hee. Yes. Anyway, I have to do some homework. I mean it. Really. This time, I really mean it. Bye
Monday, February 24, 2003
Mood: Apathetic O_O
Um. History paper rough draft due in a couple hours... much homework for tomorrow. Test in math to finish. I dunno what the heck is my problem, man! ... why can't I just buckle down and work, huh? huh? Grrr... The worst part is that I'm not FEELING anything about it. Usually I'd be tied up in knots starting in my stomach ending with butterflies coming out of my mouth! And now... it's just a ... black hole... a void... a vaccuum... What the hey doodly hey....
Friday, February 21, 2003
Mood: Relatively Good
Guess what? I stayed up till 3 o' clock last night.. err... this morning... whatever... working on homework, and I left my mom a note asking to sleep in... and she let me! I have to go in soon to get to school in time for 6th period because we're doing a teaser, and I'm supposed to be in it. I wish I weren't though. . . then I could just stay here till 5 o'clock :D At any rate, i have to go get dressed, I guess ;) I'm not sure if I should wash the grey stuff out of my hair or not though. . . . i'd just have to put more in tonight anyway. . . .
Thursday, February 20, 2003
Opening Night!Mood: Opening-Night-Ish
Hey. It was opening night! Yay! whoo hoo for us! I missed the last part of magic time tho, cause I had to go get silver stuff put in my hair (I don't like pretending I'm old :( mah!) and now I have a million hours of homework to do tonight (because methinks my parents are school nazis who won't let me stay home tomorrow, even though many many people are staying home, or at least sleeping in and missing morning classes -- however, i'm hoping that I will be pleasantly surprised tomorrow... yeah... right... ha... *starts to cry a little* stupid parents...) Anyway! It was fun. Fun... tiring... energizing... painful... and... b l a h h h h h y :P
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
Mood: Too tired to know for sure... ??
(a la Krusty the Clown:) Hey hey!... that just popped in my head. I finished the Stand today. It was disappointing, not the book, but the fact that it was over :(. I'm planning to watch the movie again on sunday (again, as in, I've never seen the whole thing, and when I did it was quite a while ago). I'm hungry. Rehearsal (rather, Final Dress) went badly :P And we open tomorrow. I had to keep telling myself before we started "Eight more times... just eight more times." Well now I can *almost* say "Seven more times" (we're doing a teaser on friday... and i'm in it... and we do it twice... so really it's like "Seven and a half more times.") Anyway...
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
I realized last night that I wasn't depressed: I was numb. *nods* Now I feel number... it feels almost good. *Grins* *takes a deep breath* *admits:* I don't care. I don't care! Yay! That feels good. So... now that I've admitted that I don't care anymore. . . . what to do . . . *sighs* I have 100 pages left in The Stand (yeah yeah yeah... some people are thinking : woah what a slow reader.... others may be thinking: How much time does she read for goshsake!.... but hey, 1, it's a book with many very creepy parts that I've relished, read, and reread, and 2, I keep getting interrupted so i have to reread pages over to get back to where I was... stupid people... don't they understand that school time for Roseanne is better used for reading outside novels!? mahahahaha) Ha... I say mahahahaha but I don't laugh. Ha. that's funny. I'm so tired. So very tired. Actually, I was reading Nadine's last scene... *nods* I can understand that partially... just partially. *polite smile -- the smile I'd probably give you any given day at any given time if you met me in real life ;)* G'night folks (as though I believe there is even one other soul reading this *actually laughs a little*)
Monday, February 17, 2003
Mood: Depressed as Hell
Don't know why I'm bothering to write. Perhaps just as a record to future-me; hey remember then? Yeah, that sucked... but hey, it's better now, right?..... or maybe I'll look back and say Those were the good old days... *hahahahaha* well I hope not.... I have a freaking (*is swearing in her head, but types the polite substitute*) essay due tomorrow that I just CAN'T work on. I'm sitting here... I've *been* sitting here for an hour and a half, and I just can't SEE the type! I can't... I can't understand it. I can't think! I CAN'T CAN'T CAAAAAAAAAAAAN'T!!!!! I don't know what I'm going to do. I've already resolved that I CANNOT do it tonight. I just can't. But what am I going to do tomorrow? When he collects them? He's going to yell at me. I just know it. And then I'll cry. I don't . . .want to do.. .. ... this
. . . anymore. . .
Sunday, February 16, 2003
Mood: dead tired
Gahhhhhhh that was the LONGEST... BORINGEST... PAINFULLEST... HORRIBLEST.... (*forgets what she was saying*... Oh yeah) cue-to-cue rehearsal EVER! Normally, as in, on a sane planet, a cue-to-cue would go as such: We go from light/sound/set cue to light/sound/set cue through the entire play starting at noon, break for dinner around 5 or 6, come back and do an almost dress runthrough of the play finishing at 10. Weeeeell it didn't really work out that way. We spent 4 hours on the first act and a little of the second. There are FIVE acts!! !! So in all, we only just finished the whole cue-to-cue part at 9 o' clock, so we just did the last finale scene (which is musical, did you know?) a few times and called it quits.Good things:
The Stand is really getting creepy where I'm at, I got to see the 300th episode of the Simpsons and parts of the 299th and 301st, it SNOWS in a scene I'm in!, no school tomorrow!Bad things:
Halpern essay due on Tuesday, have to buy a makeup kit before tomorrow's rehearsal, have to wear old-age makeup :P, much much much math stuff to do, my legs hurt, no way I'll be able to finish The Stand before tuesday (which means I'll be distracted from school for a whole 'nother week (I really shouldn't read outside novels during the school year ^^;;))
Tuesday, February 11, 2003
Grrrr... stupid... *garble* I have an english paper due tomorrow. It's not just an english paper. It's an ENGLISH PAPER. It's a My-Teacher's-Gonna-Lock-Me-In-A-Closet-And-Beat-Me-If-It's-Bad Paper! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! and it's *possible* i might have to "teach" a poem to the class, too. Gah? Gah? Come on, teach, how are we supposed to do all this work..? And rehearsal today. Ugh! Talk about tedious. Of course, I myself am a very very very patient person, so it wasn't so bad for me, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't have rather have been doing something else rather than sitting/standing upstage right with some other people while we choreographed a musical number (it took us 3 hours to do one or two minutes of song. *raises eyebrow*) Anyway... and to top it off I'm sick! Sick sick sick! I feel like I have the plague from the Stand (which I *just* started reading -- yes, I know, that's so losery... and yes, I know, i've told just about everyone of my losery-ness ;)) Anyway, Ta
Sunday, February 09, 2003
Mood: Slightly Annoyed
This isn't posting to tripod, apparently. Or at least the last two entries didn't. I haven't done any of my homework yet, and I'm incredibly anxious about having missed spanish... and I have to spend time tomorrow making sure I'm uber-memorized for the play.... and I just got done ripping the guts out of my homepage so now it's even less functional than before... but now it's in blues so it's prettier... but I messed up on the table so it doesn't quite line up *cocks head*... anyway, see ya.
The work party today wasn't as bad as I'd dreaded. . . So that's good. But now I'm dead tired; it's 1:10.. .. .. I spent the last few hours working on a stupid picture to submit to Epilogue and it won't even be accepted, so i'm not sure why I bothered... I guess I'm hoping it will slip by on a miracle? ? ? My goal is to get SOMETHING up there SOMEWHEN. Is Somewhen a word? Well now it is. I've got a mountain of homework... My brother's friend spent the night here last night, and now another friend is spending the night tonight. *rolls eyes* That's fun. Having TWO 8-year-old boys running around the house screaming. I got a 50% discount at Claires on Friday because I worked inventory a weekend ago (I tried posting a while back, but this kept crashing... so hmph). Mmmm... I'm tired. I'm gonna go sleep now. Sleeeeeepy time :D Night!
Thursday, January 30, 2003
I'm tired. I hafta go to school tomorrow... then rehearsal... then I come home and sleep so I can get up and go to a work party (don't let the "party" part fool you ;)) from 10 to 4, and then I will arrive back home around 5, and be off on my way soon again to work at Claires till midnight x_x.... Busy-ness! And I have a slight headache... Yes, I do like complaining :P! I'm listening to Time After Time right now, but it's sung by these guys... instead of Cyndi hehe... I wish my dad would hurry up and make me dinner, like he said he was gonna do in 15 minutes an hour ago (really, I'm not exaggerating)... I'd just do it myself, but he likes it a certain way that I can't do, so I gotsta wait... *waits*... I'm thirsty, too... *gulps* I'm dying of thirst! agggggh! .............. But anyway, I actually updated! I went through the about me
page and updated a bit... and revamped the art page
a bit. Now they should work better.
Tuesday, January 28, 2003
Mood: . . . . Mehhhhhh....
Um, I feel better than before. I went up to the community center and cycled for 20 minutes. That was enough to get me going. AND! I made it through rehearsals today *dramatic phewwwwwwwwwwww*! *does a "I just made it to Hollywood on American Idol" pose*! Ugh, but now I gotta do a little English, and then some Science. Grrr
Monday, January 27, 2003
AAAAAGH! My head hurts! *holds head* And my stomach.... go away knot of anxiety! Away! Awaaaaaaay! *whimpers* Tomorrow at rehearsals we do Act 2; that's the act with my big chunk of text! And today we had to do the whole Act 1 with out tongues out (to help w/enunciation); I don't want to do my big chunk of text with my tongue out! It's hard enough for me to do regularly! My mouth is incredibly dry by the end of it, and I feel like I could suck on my inhaler all night afterwards... but then again, that's how I feel at every rehearsal... I *used* to have fun at rehearsals...
Sunday, January 26, 2003
I'd have hoped my mood would have improved since friday. . . You'd think I'd feel better now that finals are over. Rather, I feel worse. Damn. I went through my pockets looking for enough pain killers to kill myself but I couldn't find any, so I laid on my bed for an hour or so waiting to see if anyone would come and check on me after I went in there to cry. No one did. . . Damn. . . Somehow, I feel better, like I've resolved everything. Like maybe nothing really *does* matter.... I still can't get this anxious knot out of my stomach.. .. .. Maybe I'll get lucky tomorrow and cease to exist because of something someone else did, or an accident. As I blurted out today, to my surprise, "I don't want to play anymore."
Friday, January 24, 2003
Mood: Anxious + Tired of Everything
Sometimes I just really don't want to do this anymore. I just want to quit everything, curl up into a ball and cease to exist. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me sometimes! WHY THE HELL DID I EVER WANT TO DO THIS PLAY!? I'm DYING of fright and anxiety! And I don't know what to do. I just don't know what to freaking do! I hear myself telling myself excuses, and making up things so I don't have to talk to anyone, so I don't have to have contact, and I believe them! It's so hard to explain... And I couldn't sleep last night, first because I kept hearing voices, so many voices! So strange.... I think it was from damage to my ears tho.... And then my brother's toy that talks when you move in front of it kept going off! And it turns out that it was going on outside right under my window. Then my sister's watch went off and beeped and beeped and beeped and beeped.... I just don't want to do this anymore
Thursday, January 23, 2003
Wheeee! We performed our Advanced/IB drama play tonight! ! ! ! It went well, not as well as it should have, but better than it *could* have. I'm so glad finals are over. Today was hectic; I had a biology final and hadn't brought my book home the night before, so I had to get in and study like mad for 20 minutes before the final (making myself a little notecard -- that was allowed -- with all the technical stuff and what not), then I took the final, which I completed in an hour and fifteen minutes, and that gave me 45 minutes to finish my journal that I had to turn in at lunch! ! So I *sort of* finished the journal just as lunch started, I gave my English teacher the journal and the late assignment ^^;; and started to go have lunch but then I remembered we had to rehearse during lunch so I ran to the auditorium, and we had dress rehearsal in front of Intermediate Drama *Deep breath!* and then worked on a few parts of the play! So! That took 4 hours and ended at 3:30, when I rushed home, arrived at 4:40, ate dinner grabbed props and costume pieces I still needed and ran out at 5:00.... arrived back at school at 6:00 (yes, it *does* take an hour .... well, its by bus) and then Frenzy frenzy frenzy! Some stuff happened, it was a blur; the show started at 7 and we finished sometime around 8:30 or something like that. Now I'm here... and I just got done surfing... and I'm really tired.... I've got to do a reflection on the performance to email tomorrow (No school! YES!..... darnit..... I just remembered I have a work party on Saturday *groaaaaaan*----- Oh SHOOT! I agreed to work on saturday! What to do!? ACK! .....) I'm going to bed.... ..... I'll have to try to forget that so I can sleep *sigh* Night
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
I don't feel good! My head hurts! I feel like throwing up! A girl in my drama class was sick today. . . . maybe I caught it? ok ok, I know, it's a migraine :P But i have so much to do! And I haven't started... I have to do all this flipping work for English! And I had my two hardest finals today. . . well. . . they might prove to ...not...be... the hardest *tongue-tied* =P ummm Oh yeah, these people at Elfwood are really making me mad! ! ! Grrr.... Our advanced/IB drama play is Thursday! ! ! So I have to stay after everyday this week and practice a bunch >.< Today we didn't get too much done cause we were trying to tech, but our director was totally fried or something and so couldn't organize anything or *THINK* apparently *rolls eyes* but I had fun anyway >:) I've been coming up with these really freaking creepy thoughts lately... kind of like those "maybe i'm just a brain in a jar dreaming this up" things, but creepier *shudders*. My head is killing me! I've gotta get to work, man.... *huff*
Thursday, January 16, 2003
Grrrrr.... a few things are bugging me. Maybe a few more than a few. There was a sleep-in at school tonight. I didn't go. *shrug* But according to my Personality Disorders Test (results posted today in the About Me section *wink*) that's to be expected *sighs*. I never thought of myself as "Borderline".... but "Avoidant" I've looked into. Ah, screw it. I feel dumb. Anyway, finals next week *phew, this semester is almost over*. Three day weekend coming up. Didn't this week take FOREVER!? . . . . I don't have to go to rehearsals tomorrow. I'm so glad. *sighs* This is so NOT like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. I'm starting to hate it. See ya.
Thursday, January 09, 2003
Oh dear. . . . See my little kitty mood icon? Oh yes. I can sum it up in two words: Oh dear. ^ ^;; Rehearsals for the play are going well. . . I didn't go on Wednesday because I was feeling ill... so I came home and slept for a few hourse *aaaahhhh, gooooood* Oh, and today I am wearing the longest sweater in the world! It must have been some sort of dress in another life! I don't remember it being this long and I've had it since 6th grade hmmmmmm.... I'm so glad tomorrow's Friday. It's no coincidence that Friday and *Phew* start with the same sound! ! ! ! .... or maybe it is :D lol. Oh yeah: Love to my secret pal! ! ! ! :D
Wednesday, January 01, 2003
Blech, everything has gone horribly horribly wrong. Everything. I can't think of anything that's going well at this point. I feel like melting away . . . leaving behind a slimy residue of failure. GOSH i'm so angry right now. . . . but I'm also not angry right now. It's like feeling everything imaginable to the point of feeling nothing. I wonder how many more people are going to start to hate me. . .
Friday, December 27, 2002
Aaaaaaaagh I spent too much money today. I bought striped tights, some earrings, a patch for my bag, and a book (The Skies of Pern! Eee!) I still want this really cool Tutorial CD I found online though . I'll have to go look for it at a comic book store... oh yeah... updates updates... I did a lot of stuff today. Making interior pages, tweaking them, etc etc. Oh! And now the Backgrounds
page (inside the Free Graphics Section
) does this really really cool effect! At least, I think it's cool. . . when you click on a graphic the background changes to that image! hee! hee! Ok, yes you've seen it before. But now you can see it here! :D
Thursday, December 26, 2002
New layout! Wheee! And I'm working on adding a couple new piccies to the gallery :) Guess what I got for Christmas!!!? A ruby Graphire tablet! Yes! :D I colored the tutorial pic from copicmarker.com. that should be up in the gallery soon. . . along with some pictures of my christmas presents :) I'm gonna upload a bunch of random pictures. Hopefully *someone* will appreciate them ;) Anyhoooooooo . . . . I'll start working on a group Updates/Blog . . . thing after I tweak this a bit . . . see ya :D And Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Etc!!