Favorite Quotes


Here are a bunch of quotes that I've collected from lots of places like quotes sites, just memory, other people, the television... etc etc....

(*note*:obviously I didn't come up with these unless the quote is from a story of mine or something)

Just Shoot Me:

"Oh yeah? Well at least I'm not tall and thin!.... Wait...." -- Maya

[on being fat] "That was for survival! If you were fat you could float, and if you could float you weren't a witch. Come on, read your Bible, man!" -- Nina



Hey, maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked pal! -- Hudson

That's it, man. Game over, man! Game over! -- Hudson

Did I.Q.s just drop sharply while I was away? -- Ripley


Back to the Future:

Marty: Where the hell are they?!
Doc: The appropriate question is "when the hell are they?!".



Col. Mustard: Why is J. Edgar Hoover on your phone?
Wadsworth: I don't know. He's on everyone else's, why shouldn't he be on mine?

Wadsworth: I'm merely a humble butler.
Col. Mustard: What exactly do you do?
Wadsworth: I buttle, sir.

Wadsworth: Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry, specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur.
Prof. Plum: Yes, but now I work for the United Nations.
Wadsworth: So, your work has not changed.

Miss Scarlet: I hardly think it will enhance your reputation at the U.N. Professor Plum, if it's revealed that you have been implicated not only in adultery with one of your patients, but in her death and the deaths of five other people.
Prof. Plum: You don't know what kind of people they have at the U.N., I might go up in their estimation

Wadsworth: One plus two plus two plus one.
Miss Scarlet: Un uh, there was only one shot that got the chandelier, that's one plus two plus one plus one.
Wadsworth: Even if you're right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not "one plus two plus one plus one."

Chief: Armageddon is almost upon us.
Prof. Plum: I got news for you: it's already here.

Col. Mustard: There's still one thing I don't understand.
Mrs. White: One thing?

Col. Mustard: Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?
Wadsworth: You don't need any help from me, sir.

Mrs. White: Everything alright?
Col. Mustard: Yep. Two corpses, everything's fine.

Mr. Green: I was going to expose you.
Wadsworth: I know, so I choose to expose myself.
Col. Mustard: Please, there are ladies present.

Col. Mustard: How did you know that?
Wadsworth: Can you keep a secret?
Col. Mustard: Yes.
Wadsworth: So can I.

Col. Mustard: Wadsworth, am I right in thinking that there is nobody else in this house?
Wadsworth: No.
Col. Mustard: Then there is someone else in this house?
Wadsworth: No, sorry, I said "no" meaning "yes."
Col. Mustard: "No" meaning "yes"? Look, I want a straight answer, is there someone else or isn't there, yes or no?
Wadsworth: Um, no.
Col. Mustard: No, there is, or no, there isn't?
Wadsworth: Yes.

Wadsworth: It's like the Mounties: "We always get our man."
Mr. Green: Mrs. Peacock was a man?

Wadsworth: And, to make a long story short . . .
Col. Mustard: Too late.

Mr. Green: Will you stop that?!
Wadsworth: No!

Wadsworth: If I was the murderer, why would I reveal to you how I did it?

Wadsworth: Don't deny it.
Mrs. White: What do you mean, "don't deny it"? I'm not denying anything.
Wadsworth: Another denial.

Wadsworth: Frankly, Scarlet, I don't give a damn.


Coming to America

Akeem: I know what I like, and I know you know what I like because you are trained to know what I like, but I would like to know what you like.

Akeem: Is it my imagination or does every woman in New York have a severe emotional problem?

Akeem: When you think of garbage, think of Akeem.


The Princess Bride

Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die.

Prince Humperdinck: Surrender!
Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.

Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't, by any chance, happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Westley: Do you always begin conversations this way?


The Producers

Roger De Bris: Mr. Bialystock and Bloom, I presume. Forgive the pun.
Leo: What pun?
Max: Shut up! He thinks he's witty.

Leo: Ahem, ahhemm, cough, cough, ahemmm . . .
Max: I assume you're making those cartoon noises to attract my attention.

Franz Liebkind: Churchill! With his cigars, with his brandy, and his rotten painting! Rotten! Hitler, there was a painter. He could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon--two coats!


Ghostbusters (1 and 2)

Egon: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Venkman: What?
Egon: Don't cross the streams.
Venkman: Why?
Egon: It would be bad.
Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean "bad"?
Egon: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously, and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Ray: Total protonic reversal!
Venkman: Right, that's bad. Okay, alright, important safety tip, thanks Egon.

Egon: I blame myself.
Venkman: So do I.

Egon: Let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. According to this morning's sample, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.

Winston: Tell him about the twinkie.
Venkman: ...What about the twinkie?

Venkman: Back off man. I'm a scientist.

Ray: I think we better split up.
Egon: Good idea.
Venkman: Yeah, we can do more damage that way.

Winston: If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.

Venkman: Well, there's somethin' you don't see everyday.

Venkman: She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and she sleeps above her covers . . . four feet above her covers!

Venkman: Where are we?
Ray: Looks like we're in the teens, somewhere.
Venkman: Alright, when we get to twenty, tell me, I'm gonna throw up

Venkman: We came. We saw. We kicked its ass!

Louis: Your Honor, ladies and gentleman of the, of the audience, I don't think it's fair to call my clients frauds. Okay, so the blackout was a big problem for everybody, okay? I was stuck in an elevator for two hours, and I had to make the whole time. But, I don't blame them, 'cause one time I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you.
Egon: Very good, Louis, short but pointless.

Venkman: Kitten, What i'm saying is, sometimes shit happens, somebody's gotta deal with it, and who you going to call?

VENKMAN: I don't have to take this abuse from you, I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

VENKMAN: Generally, you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.

RAY: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
WALTER PECK They caused an explosion!
MAYOR: Is this true?
VENKMAN: Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.

Venkman: I'm gonna get you a nice fruit basket!..... I'm gonna miss him.

Ray: Hey, where do these stairs go?
Venkman: They go up.

Venkman: "You're right, no ordinary human being would stack books like this."





It's my first real stab at cliche villany. How am I doing? -- Xanatos


The Fifth Element

Cornelius: "...We're saved!"
Zorg: "I'm screwed!"


Ferris Bueller's Day Off

I did have a test today. That wasn't bullshit. It's on European Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European, I don't plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they're socialist? They could be fascist anarchists, that still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car. Not that I condone fascism, or any ism for that matter. Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." A good point there. Of course he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus, I'd still have to bum rides off of people. -- Ferris



Jareth: You remind me of the babe.
Goblin: What babe?
Jareth: The babe with the power.
Goblin: What power?
Jareth: The power of voodoo.
Goblin: Who do?
Jareth: You do.
Goblin: Do what?
Jareth: Remind me of the babe.

Worm: "'Ello."
Sara: "Did you say...hello?"
Worm: "No, I said "'ello," but that's close enough."

Jareth: "Hello Hedgewart."
Sara: "Hogwart."
Hoggle: "Hog-gle!"


Star Trek

"I'm not good in groups. It's difficult to work in a group when you're omnipotent." -- Q



Runnin's not a plan, runnin's what you do when a plan fails! -- Earl


Liar Liar

Cop: " Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Fletcher: "Depends on how long you were following me."
Cop: "Let's start from the top."
Fletcher: "Here it goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at an intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and SPEEDING!"
Cop: "Is that all?"
Fletcher: "No. ...I have unpaid parking tickets."


The X-Files

"Is there any way I can get it off my finger as quickly as possible without betraying my cool exterior?" --Mulder

I half expected Yoda to come over and bap Mulder over the head...'Time to rest not Jedi Mulder!' *bap* 'Truth to find you must!' *bap* --some interview or something about the X-Files


(meh, I'm tired now... more later)

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