Written: 3-12-02
Quickwrite For "Writer's Cramp"
(I think I actually won for this one--*daily contest*)

Prompt: The setting is a zoo. Two main characters are animals, with a secondary character being a non-animal. A primary object is a hairbrush and a seconday object is a tire. Your story is about learning.



"Where's my kazoomaru?"

"I don't know, find it yourself."

"I saw you with it."

"I didn't touch your kazoo!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"You stole it!"

"You're such a liar. Martin is a liar! Martin is a liar!"

"Am not, am not!"

"Are too!"

"Give me my kazoo!"

"I don't have it, you moron."

"Well then where is it?"

"Did you check the tire swing?"

"No... oh... here it is."

Martin ambled over to the tire swing and picked up a hairbrush. "Here's my kazoo."

"Come over here and groom me." Sally ordered, picking some leaves off indiscriminately and shoving them in her mouth.

"Yeah, yeah, but you're doing me next. I'm all itchy!" Martin clumsily dragged himself over to her. He picked up the brush and ran it clumsily through Sally's fur.

"You call that groomin'?" Sally snapped.

"My kazoomaru's broke, I think." Martin slapped it on a rock angrily. "OOh! Oooh!" he cried out in indignation.

Someone pounded on the glass. "Mommy! Look at the monkey!" A small freckled kid screamed, his manic green eyes aglow.

Martin bared his teeth and screamed, "Oooh! Oooh!" He growled in frustration. "Another television program! How do I turn it off!?"

"Lookie, mommie!" The child shrieked happily, "He's smiling at me! He's smiling at me!" The child, luckily, was dragged away by his mother.

"Ahhh, peace at last." Martin breathed a sigh of relief, and got to trying to fix his brush again. "Darn kazoomaru."

"It's not a kazoomaru, you thick headed ape." A voice from nearby.

Sally and Martin looked around quickly, scanning for the source of the voice. Nothing seemed to be amiss...

"What?" Sally called out.

"You imbeciles..." the voice muttered to itself, "If you knew anything you'd know that that is a brush. And those children are not television programs, they're watching *YOU*."

"What? That's ridiculous!" Martin exclaimed, throwing his brush against the wall.

"Where are you?" Sally trotted around in circles.

"I'm right here." A voice at Sally's feet.

She looked down to see... an apple.

"All I see is an apple." She puzzled.

"I AM the apple!" The voice snapped.

"Oh..." Martin and Sally exclaimed in unison.

The voice sighed, "You are part of an exhibit! You are monkeys! The humans are watching you and mocking you! You are naked! Ha! Now you are prepared to rise up and take command!"

"Monkeys?" Sally repeated.

"Naked?" Martin pulled on his fur.

"Yes! Naked monkeys! You are naked monkeys! Bask in this new found knowledge!"

Sally and Martin exchanged confused looks.

"I'm not hearing any basking!" The voice seemed to be strained.

"I... don't get it." Sally conceded.

"Let me explain it to you again." The apple said, "Slowly. You... are monkeys... and you are naked... the humans put you in here so they can look at you and make fun of you... that is a brush... do ... you... under...stand?"

Martin scratched his head. "What are monkeys?"

The apple screamed in frustration and seemed to quiver. "It's gotten so hard to commit evil in this place!" It fumed.

"Naked..." Sally rolled the word around in her mouth. She picked up the brush and named it, "Naked."

"Ahhh," Martin said snatching the brush, "Naked!"

"NO!" The apple cried, "No! No! NO! That is not naked... well, it is naked! But--"

"Naked!" Sally laughed gleefully, grabbing the brush back from Martin. He chased her around the cage playfully.

"No! Listen to me!!" The apple demanded, quivering and quaking. "ME!"

Then, it exploded.

Sally and Martin exchanged bewildered looks, and then shrugged.

"Give me my naked!"

"Make me."

"Oh you are so gonna get it!"

"Ha! I got the naked!"


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